Tara Rafter : Hypervigilance to Healing

I remember reading somewhere that you said that your coaching started at the age of three, and I remember being really fascinated by that in the sense that, you know, that, like, a three-year-old is, is a baba.

Yeah.

I was a baba.

Yeah.

But it was my first kinda clear memory of an introduction to the world.

Mm.

And seeing my environment around me and realizing that I had to almost develop a certain set of skills to survive.

So when I was small, there was alcoholism and domestic violence.

I often refer to it as turbulence.

And I suppose when you're that small, you don't know any different.

Mm.

And you're just looking at the world that's around you and the people that are in it, and you know that you need them, so you're trying to be whoever it is that you think they need you to be in order to survive whatever's happening around you.

So yeah, I do often say that the training started at three.

Yeah.

Mm.

So when you say that about, you know, 'cause your dad was an alcoholic-

Yeah

... and domestic violence, like, it's difficult to even ask about, and I don't know how comfortable you are to talk about it.

But-

Yeah

...

I suppose, what did that look like when it was at its worst?

Probably some of the most terrifying things I've ever seen.

I can't...

Yeah, it's, it's very hard to go back there in my mind.