1791: Parents, Teenagers, Codependency and Mercy / Q&A Vol. 298

[laughs]

Very good question.

Um, can I take a shot at that?

Please.

You know, there was an expression we used to learn as young devotees, as, you know, as far as giving the holy name to other people.

They'd say, "Go fishing, but don't get wet." You know? Like, you're, you're making the endeavor.

You're...

Or another expression they used was, "Reach out, but don't fall over."

Hmm.

You know? So we wanna always be in a position where we g- where we give, and we're responsible, and we're loving, and we're dharmic.

But sometimes if that cost is too big, then we're not helping anybody.

Um, so I think it's a fine line 'cause every situation is gonna be sort of different.

I know in my mom's situation, um, I don't preach to her.

But every time I see her, I spray her with kanchi's water.

[laughs] "What are you doing?" I was like, "It's holy water.

It's good for you." You know? But I also, last time I was with her, I d- played videos of kirtans for her.

I said, "Oh, this is my friend's kirtan band." We just sat there and watched.

But you, but sometimes the way you phrased it was, how do you know if their behavior isn't harmful? Harmful could be violent.

Harmful could be, um, uh, some type of caustic or toxic in some way.

Um, I don't like to use the word toxic 'cause I feel like it's overused.

Toxic parents.

My toxic parents.

Like, just 'cause you don't like them doesn't mean they're toxic.

But at the same time, if they're violent or if they're, um, alcoholics or...

You gotta be able-- every situation's gonna be sort of unique.