James Sexton: What 25 Years as a Divorce Lawyer Taught Jim Sexton About Life and Love | E191

Jim Sexton has spent more than 25 years watching more than 1,000 couples who once loved each other divide their families, fortunes and futures – but the experiences that shaped him most happened long before he entered a courtroom. One of America’s most successful divorce lawyers opens up about growing up with an alcoholic father, nearly losing his mother throughout childhood, confronting fear, dealing with anticipatory grief, being overweight, rebuilding his body, and learning how extraordinary communication can transform relationships, negotiations and careers. James “Jim” Sexton is one of America’s most prominent divorce lawyers, a bestselling author and one of the internet’s most widely watched voices on love, marriage and why relationships fall apart. But before exploring the courtroom lessons that made him famous, Randall Kaplan takes Jim back to the experiences that created the man behind the reputation and incredible success. The conversation also explores Jim’s struggle with weight, isolation and bullying. After reaching college, he made the decision to change his physical condition one difficult step at a time—eventually becoming a marathon runner, weightlifter and longtime Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioner. Jim then recounts his time as a hospice volunteer, including sitting with people who had no family present during their final hours and reading them stories.  He shares why he would read Winnie-the-Pooh aloud to dying patients and how those experiences taught him to keep death in his peripheral vision without allowing it to diminish his appreciation for life. He also reveals the practice he developed of telling the people he loves how he feels before every goodbye. For Jim, it is not enough to tell someone that you love them. He believes they should also know that you fully recognize and feel their love for you. Timestamps: 00:00 — Why a lawyer who has watched 1,000 marriages collapse still believes in love 01:44 — The chaotic childhood that trained Jim to read people instantly 08:15 — What happens when a child is repeatedly told his mother may die 14:05 — The moment Jim decided he could no longer remain the “fat kid” 20:00 — Why he volunteered to sit beside strangers as they died 24:57 — The two things Jim wants everyone he loves to know before he dies 29:43 — The letter to his late mother that uncovered a lifelong emotional wound 37:30 — Why Jim kept a tarantula beside his bed for more than 20 years 40:45 — When fear creates success—and when it begins destroying it 50:40 — The unglamorous job experience Jim requires from potential employees 57:31 — The communication skill that separates Jim from other elite lawyers 1:03:00 — Why authenticity matters more than sounding impressive 1:04:40 — What Jim learned from FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss 1:07:00 — The storytelling secret behind Jim’s extraordinary audience retention About Jim Sexton James Sexton is one of the country’s most prominent and successful divorce and matrimonial attorneys. During a legal career spanning more than 25 years, he has handled over 1,000 matrimonial cases and represented high-profile individuals, business leaders and ultra-high-net-worth clients in complex family-law matters. He is also the bestselling author of: • If You’re in My Office, It’s Already Too Late • How to Stay in Love About Randall Kaplan Randall Kaplan is a serial entrepreneur, investor, professional coach, and the host of In Search of Excellence. He is the co-founder of Akamai Technologies, a global leader in cloud services and cybersecurity, and was an early investor in Google. Over the last 25+ years, Randall has advised more than 50 companies, invested in nearly 100 companies, and worked with founders, CEOs, executives, and business owners to help them reach higher levels of success. Through his Extreme Preparation™ methodology, Randall teaches high performers how to prepare better, think bigger, build stronger relationships, and execute at the highest level. Want to Work One-on-One with Me? I privately coach a limited number of high achievers through personalized one-on-one coaching focused on elevating careers, scaling businesses, and reaching higher levels of success both professionally and personally. If you're ready to change your life and achieve your goals, apply here: www.randallkaplan.com   Listen to my Extreme Preparation TEDx Talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIvlFpoLfgs   Listen to this episode on the go! Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/23q0XIC...   For more information about this episode, visit https://www.randallkaplan.com/   Follow Randall! Instagram: @randallkaplan  LinkedIn:  @randallkaplan  TikTok:  @randall\_kaplan  Twitter / X: https://x.com/RandallKaplan Website:  www.randallkaplan.com 1-on-1 Coaching: www.randallkaplan.com **Coaching and Staying Connected:** 1-on-1 Coaching | Instagram | YouTube | TikTok | LinkedIn