Kelly Clymer

Because essentially, even though your assistant coaches are part of your coaching team, they still don't necessarily need to hold, uh, the heavy crown, if you will, that the head coach does.

Uh, 'cause they're not the ones getting the emails from the parents.

They're not the ones that are being approached, approached by the parents or, uh, all of these things.

And I think it gets tough because as, as head coaches for any hockey team, we need to act like o- or, uh, and I don't mean act dismissive, but there needs to be things that are like, "Okay, like, this is just the way it is, uh, parent A." I'll just say parent A.

"This is just the way it is.

Here's how I thought about it.

This is how we're gonna continue.

You know, I hope this communication has been, uh, uh, good enough for you or validates that I know what we're talking about." But even though that you are sure on that, you feel that parents Uh, uh, issues or problems, you know? Um, even if you don't agree with those problems, you still feel them, and it's nothing that you're going to dump onto your assistant coaches.

You're kinda stuck with it.

Um, you really are kind of the last, um...

And I'm not acting like, you know, a hockey coach has been able to figure out some sorta mental strength.

Uh, you know, everybody deals with this.

But it's like all of the, and I don't wanna call it baggage, but it's close to it.

But just because a coach says XYZ doesn't mean that they still aren't, and I don't wanna say second-guessing ourselves, but it still doesn't mean that we aren't taking that into consideration as far as like, oh, either my player or, you know, that player's parents are feeling this way or that way.

Like, we hold onto that because there's really nobody to hand that off to.

I mean, um, I feel like the best thing that I do is reach out to another coach that has nothing to do with our organization, our team, our situation.

I make it broad.

I don't even tell them who the player is or what the situation is.

But it's like there is nobody else to kind of, um, feel that with or to, to understand that with, because that is nothing.

You can't dump it back onto your players.

You can't dump it back onto your assistant coaches.

Now, you can reach out to your assistant coaches and be like, "Hey," like, you know, "uh, how do you feel about this? 'Cause this is something that I was questioned about, you know, XYZ." But, uh, it is one of those situations to where unless you've been a head coach of a, uh, a sports team, I really don't think that you understand how lonely it can feel sometimes to be stuck with a problem, and you can't hand it off to anybody else.

And even though you have made the decision, and that decision is what you're going to do moving forward, that might not be enough in that family or that kid or their, that kid's parents still might be upset.

But you still are doing what is best for that team, but it's not, it's your decision, you know? And it, it's one of those things that you are stuck with.

And I think that that, as far as like, um, any sort of like mental thing that I've gone through as a coach, it's just feeling like, oh, this is my problem to figure out, and if I take my stance here, the stance is my stance.