Oasis Nearly Weren’t Back

Hello, I'm Stephen Allen on a day when, I mean, this is probably not the main story, but I'm intrigued.

M&S and John Lewis retreat from plus sizes amid weight loss jab boom.

Fascinating that clothes are going to get smaller.

And yeah, look, maybe it's because of the weight loss jabs.

That'll be just a small, brief trend.

The bigger issue will be the lack of food security and all the wars coming.

Anyway, keep it happy.

Let's take a look at your front pages.

The Mirror has Noel Feared Tour Disaster.

A couple of stories on the front page about Oasis.

They're flogging a film.

There's a documentary at the Venice Film Festival about that, about the gig, and it's front page news.

But Liam was not rehearsing, and there was also he wasn't quite there before the first gig.

My theory is, before your first performance, you're off on the job.

I don't want to give too many details away about what it's like for me before a stand-up gig, but, you know, a little bit of pre-show nerves...

It manifests itself in a very physical way.

Just poor old, he was, you know, he was mad for it.

And the old gents, if I'm honest.

There's also a story on the front page of The Sun.

No cigarettes and alcohol.

He stopped smoking and drinking.

That's not just because you wanted to get tall fit.

That happens when you reach a certain age.

I'm nearing 50 and now I can't eat a pork pie without it wiping out three days.

Oh, I've got some acid reflux.