Emphasizing the Good: A Solution or Part of the Problem? A Conversation with Rabbi Judah Mischel (305)

**Check out Orthodox Conundrum Commentary on Substack and get your free subscription by going to https://scottkahn.substack.com/ - and members get this and other episodes of the Orthodox Conundrum Podcast ad-free and with early access and additional bonus content!**  As Yom Kippur approaches, we naturally think about what's wrong: our failures, our mistakes, and the ways that we, and the Jewish community as a whole, need to change. Rabbi Judah Mischel challenges us to pay attention to something else as well: the nekudah tovah, the point of goodness in ourselves, in other people, and in the Jewish people. He argues that focusing on what's going right, magnifying it, and building upon it can be a far more effective path toward growth than constantly emphasizing what's wrong. I find that idea deeply inspiring. But I also struggle with it. Because sometimes things really are wrong. Sometimes people are hurt. Sometimes communities develop unhealthy patterns that desperately need to change. And if we become so determined to emphasize the good that we hesitate to call out the bad, are we encouraging growth, or are we actually becoming part of the problem? In this pre-Yom Kippur conversation, Rabbi Judah Mischel and I wrestle with these questions while also discussing the extraordinarily difficult, and extraordinarily hopeful, moment in Jewish history in which we are living. We talk about optimism and realism, judging people favorably, confronting wrongdoing, criticizing communities without condemning them, and how we can work toward meaningful change without losing sight of the tremendous good that already exists. As we approach Yom Kippur, perhaps the challenge is not to choose between seeing the good and confronting the bad, but to figure out how to do both in a way that actually makes us, and the Jewish community, better. *Talli Rosenbaum and I have just released **Intimacy and Sexuality for Emerging Adults, powered by Intimate Judaism** -  a new ten-part podcast series designed to give young Jewish adults the kind of honest, thoughtful and Torah-based guidance about relationships, sexuality, and intimacy that too many of them simply aren't getting.* *We talk about emotional intimacy and vulnerability, dating and physical boundaries, attraction and sexual desire, anatomy and sexual response, consent and communication, pornography, love and marriage, niddah and building intimacy within marriage, some of the difficult questions surrounding sexual orientation and Torah, and more.* *All ten episodes of  Intimacy and Sexuality for Emerging Adults are available now; just click here to get it on Spotify or Apple.* *Please listen to and share this podcast, and let us know what you think on the Orthodox Conundrum Discussion Group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/432020081498108).* *If your business is interested in advertising to our engaged Orthodox audience, or if you'd like to sponsor an episode in honor of a loved one or simcha, please reach out to [aliza@jewishcoffeehouse.com](mailto:aliza@jewishcoffeehouse.com) to support meaningful Jewish conversations.* *Thanks to all of our Patreon subscribers, who have access to bonus JCH podcasts, merch, and more - we appreciate your help, and hope you really enjoy the extras! Visit the JCH Patreon site at https://www.patreon.com/jewishcoffeehouse.* *Write to [aliza@jewishcoffeehouse.com](mailto:aliza@jewishcoffeehouse.com) to learn all about creating your own podcast.* *Music: "Happy Rock" by bensound.com*