E26 The Lowdown on Toxic Positivity

In this episode, we explore the complex nature of toxic positivity, its origins, and its impact on emotional health. We discuss how societal and cultural pressures encourage us to suppress genuine feelings and the importance of emotional honesty and resilience. In this episode, the panel explores the complexities of toxic positivity, emotional resilience, and the importance of embracing all facets of human experience, including darkness and vulnerability. Kori, Zab and Jen discuss how societal norms, cultural influences, and personal experiences shape our emotional responses and perceptions of positivity.   Show Notes Takeaways: \- Toxic positivity often leads to the denial and invalidation of authentic emotions. \- Society, especially women, has been conditioned to prioritize pleasantness over honesty. \- Mind over matter can be a powerful tool for resilience but can also be misused to dismiss real pain. \- Recognizing the difference between healthy optimism and toxic positivity is crucial for mental health. \- Acceptance of reality, including mortality, is essential for genuine well-being.   Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the episode and topic of toxic positivity 00:13 Introduction to the complexities of human emotion 02:02 Manifesting versus wishing: understanding the difference 02:03 What is toxic positivity and how does it manifest? 04:13 Personal stories and experiences with toxic positivity 05:02 The role of genuine gratitude in emotional health 06:18 The blame and shame associated with illness and toxic positivity 09:22 Cultural roots and societal conditioning around positivity 09:57 Signs and impacts of toxic positivity 12:02 The importance of emotional honesty and validation 15:00 Cultural influences on emotional expression and positivity 15:21 Optimism versus toxic positivity: recognizing the difference 17:20 The concept of mind over matter and resilience in adversity 20:01 The importance of embracing darkness and sadness 20:12 Historical examples of mind over matter in extreme situations 23:11 Manifestation, positivity, and their intersection with toxic positivity 24:59 How societal norms shape our emotional responses 25:52 Acceptance, mortality, and living within one's reality 29:59 The influence of privilege and capitalism on positivity 35:00 Patriarchy and emotional labor in women 39:58 Community, resilience, and shared hardship 45:01 The role of spiritual beliefs and soul contracts 50:06 Balancing light and darkness in life 55:06 The value of vulnerability and authenticity 59:59 Conclusion: embracing the full spectrum of human experience   References: Bandura, A. (1977). *Social learning theory*. Prentice Hall. Ehrenreich, B. (2009). *Bright-sided: How positive thinking is undermining America*. Metropolitan Books. Festinger, L. (1957). *A theory of cognitive dissonance*. Stanford University Press. Goodman, R. D. (2022). *Toxic positivity: Keeping it real in a world obsessed with being happy*. Balance. (Popular psychology rather than primary research, but widely cited in discussions of the concept.) Gross, J. J. (1998). The emerging field of emotion regulation: An integrative review. *Review of General Psychology, 2*(3), 271–299. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.2.3.271 Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2016). *Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change* (2nd ed.). Guilford Press. Lerner, M. J. (1980). *The belief in a just world: A fundamental delusion*. Plenum Press. Mauss, I. B., Tamir, M., Anderson, C. L., & Savino, N. S. (2011). Can seeking happiness make people unhappy? *Emotion, 11*(4), 807–815. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0022010 Susan David. (2016). *Emotional agility: Get unstuck, embrace change, and thrive in work and life*. Avery. Wood, J. V., Perunovic, W. Q. E., & Lee, J. W. (2009). Positive self-statements: Power for some, peril for others. *Psychological Science, 20*(7), 860–866. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2009.02370.x   Contact Information: Find Murder of Crones on You Tube, Tik Tok, Facebook and Instagram.  Email : [mofcrones@gmail.com](mailto:mofcrones@gmail.com)   Special Thanks to www.dinnissendesign.com for Zabrina’s use of their show room for recording. Check them out for all your interior design needs. Dinnissen Design is located in Vancouver and Castlegar BC.