Toxic positivity

That's the manipulation.

And in this toxic positivity world that we live in, that you can think differently about anything, that's the whole thing, right? So telling something that hurts them is good for you, even people going through grief and loss and healing from trauma will hear nonsense like well this will make you stronger come on the person's hurt yeah maybe way down the road it will but it's too soon if a person's being told it when they're acutely in it the lack of empathy in all narcissistic relationships means that there's little consideration of how saying it's good for you hurts other people But there's something worse here.

It cultivates self-doubt and self-blame.

People thinking maybe I'm weak because I'm not embracing this as a challenge.

I know they're hurt.

Do I just book the trip and hope they're in town? Do I give up? I'm really sorry that this is happening to you.

I think in many families where there is abuse, a lot of the members do organize around one person and try to keep them calm.

And your mom has her own history with her spouse.

This is tricky, but it can happen.

And it can also maybe incentivize dad to work on some of this and make the relationship better.

It might be okay for you to book a trip, stop asking them to plan it with you, you know, pick the dates, pick when you're going to go and plan a trip that you want to have, whether you see them or not.

So maybe there are things that you want to do with your kids and your partner or friends you want to see there.

We are Borg.

What was it again? Toxic Positivity Episodes 1 or 2.

Okay.

When we first mentioned Swedenborgianism.

bloodbath this year, Jimmy.

This fan base suffers from toxic positivity.

You are not drinking that green coolant.

You're a bad person.

I don't know if it's toxic positivity.

I don't know if we're just rallying the wagons.

If we're all jumping on the Jason Tatum PR team bandwagon.

Empathy is sometimes about just going the extra mile to understand things that may not necessarily be impacting your life, but sure as hell can be hurting other people.

Toxic positivity is a pattern that is sort of seen in people who sort of require people to be happy and positive all the time, who don't allow space for normal, what we call dysphoric or negative emotions like anxiety or sadness or worry.

And many a self-improvement cult has arisen out of people being told their dysphoric or sad emotions reflected some sort of damage or limitation within them, and then they would have those emotions be judged harshly by the other people in the so-called cult.

Now, as a general rule, it is useful.

But we need to heed our emotions as the messengers and signals that they are.

And what we need to do is learn appropriate ways of being with our emotions and learning to respond in the face of them.

Now, the toxic positivity folks are the ones who shame people for not walking around eternally optimistic.

And they're fully convinced of their power all of the time.

bloodbath this year, Jimmy.

This fan base suffers from toxic positivity.

You're done.

You are not drinking that green fluid.

And for some people, it's a lifetime of healing, but it's about always being on the upward move instead of being on the downward move so that you can grow from it.

One of the things that is interesting is whenever you're told to be grateful or whenever you're told to think positively or whenever you're told to count your blessings, people start screaming, that's toxic positivity.

That's toxic positivity.

And I want to be very clear as somebody who's been through my own mental health issues, somebody who's been through physical health issues, somebody who just lives in society.

I do think that toxic positivity is in fact a real thing.

Yes.

That said, I think it gets brought up too much.

I think that sometimes you're just trying to shift your focus and get out of the muck.