Patriarchy in Your Pocket

All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is when you are online shopping and you have to look at the pictures and then you look at the description and the color is not like navy, black, white, ivory.

It is, and I wrote these down, morel and rinen.

What the fuck? I've had it.

We've taken over this.

I mean, here's what I picture.

Okay.

A big conference room with all these executives sitting around saying, we can't just call it black.

I mean, I don't know what those colors are.

So I'm just going to say black.

We can't just say it's black because that's too plain.

We need to be dicey and edgy.

So we're going to call it morel.

Why are you making this harder than it has to be? When I have to Google what this color is, I don't want to buy the product.

This came to a cataclysmic event that I ordered a pair of tennis shoes.

And I wanted navy blue.

And I go to the website and I order this.

I'm looking at the shoes and I am like pulling up the pictures.

I'm looking at the color.

I'm like, I don't know if this is dark purple or navy blue.

Like I have no idea based on the color description and on the picture.

I'm enlarging it and I'm just like, I don't know.

It's a crapshoot.

So I get the shoes.

Pleasantly surprised they were in fact the Navy shoes, but that's based on me like five minutes really examining the pictures, getting these readers on and going full throttle.

It shouldn't be that hard.

All right, Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with is when you are online shopping and you have to look at the pictures and then you look at the description and the color is not like navy, black, white, ivory.

It is, and I wrote these down, morel and rinen.

What the fuck? I've had it.

We've taken over this.

I mean, here's what I picture.

Okay.

A big conference room with all these executives sitting around saying, we can't just call it black.

I mean, I don't know what those colors are.

So I'm just going to say black.

We can't just say it's black because that's too plain.

We need to be dicey and edgy.

So we're going to call it morel.

Why are you making this harder than it has to be? When I have to Google what this color is, I don't want to buy the product.

This came to a cataclysmic event that I ordered a pair of tennis shoes.

And I wanted navy blue.

And I go to the website and I order this.

I'm looking at the shoes and I am like pulling up the pictures.

I'm looking at the color.

I'm like, I don't know if this is dark purple or navy blue.

Like I have no idea based on the color description and on the picture.

I'm enlarging it and I'm just like, I don't know.

It's a crapshoot.

So I get the shoes.

Pleasantly surprised they were in fact the Navy shoes, but that's based on me like five minutes really examining the pictures, getting these readers on and going full throttle.

It shouldn't be that hard.