Tamar & Gidi Ben Tzvi: 10 Years. 11 IVF Retrievals. 6 Miscarriages... Then a Miracle

Yeah.

Like, how did you get by all of that?

Um, I definitely struggled with suicidal thoughts when I was younger, um, for sure.

Um, I would have very bad separation anxiety.

I would have very bad anxiety in terms of people leaving me, people not wanting to be my friend anymore.

It was really hard.

[laughs] Um, basically from seventh grade until the summer after 11th grade, I really don't remember much.

I slept a lot.

I was really, I was really depressed.

Mm.

Um, my whole life changed when I went to Camp HASC, um, after 11th grade.

Um, and I basically was, you know, in, I was becoming frum, and that this is a big part of my story.

So I was becoming frum, and I realized, like, my body's not mine.

It's halachically elligible to do anything to myself, and so I can't.

And then after 10th grade, I went to [laughs] Michlelet, and I learned the song L'maan Cha by Eitan Katz.

And I kid you not, that song was a life-changer for me because what that song told me was my body's not mine, my soul's not mine, and it all belongs to HaShem, and if he wants me alive, then I'm gonna be alive.

Like, meaning, okay.

And then the next summer I went to Camp HASC, um, after 11th grade, and I was, it wasn't like I was doing so much because, again, I was pretty, like, you know, careful.

Like, I, I, I was like halachically if affair, whatever.

But I, um, that summer I told a new friend of mine, I'm like, "Okay, like, I'm gonna, like, I'm just gonna take, like, extra pills or whatever." And she ended up telling, um, the head staff.

Um, she told the head staff that I was going to take, you know, the e- extra medication, um, and they kicked me out of camp for four days.

Um, and those four days changed my entire life, um, because what happened was that I was able to...

Basically, my job during the day was amazing.

I loved it.

I basically was, like, with all the campers.

Yeah.

Like, how did you get by all of that?

Um, I definitely struggled with suicidal thoughts when I was younger, um, for sure.

Um, I would have very bad separation anxiety.

I would have very bad anxiety in terms of people leaving me, people not wanting to be my friend anymore.

It was really hard.

[laughs] Um, basically from seventh grade until the summer after 11th grade, I really don't remember much.

I slept a lot.

I was really, I was really depressed.

Mm.

Um, my whole life changed when I went to Camp HASC, um, after 11th grade.

Um, and I basically was, you know, in, I was becoming frum, and that this is a big part of my story.

So I was becoming frum, and I realized, like, my body's not mine.

It's halachically elligible to do anything to myself, and so I can't.

And then after 10th grade, I went to [laughs] Michlelet, and I learned the song L'maan Cha by Eitan Katz.

And I kid you not, that song was a life-changer for me because what that song told me was my body's not mine, my soul's not mine, and it all belongs to HaShem, and if he wants me alive, then I'm gonna be alive.

Like, meaning, okay.

And then the next summer I went to Camp HASC, um, after 11th grade, and I was, it wasn't like I was doing so much because, again, I was pretty, like, you know, careful.

Like, I, I, I was like halachically if affair, whatever.

But I, um, that summer I told a new friend of mine, I'm like, "Okay, like, I'm gonna, like, I'm just gonna take, like, extra pills or whatever." And she ended up telling, um, the head staff.

Um, she told the head staff that I was going to take, you know, the e- extra medication, um, and they kicked me out of camp for four days.

Um, and those four days changed my entire life, um, because what happened was that I was able to...

Basically, my job during the day was amazing.

I loved it.

I basically was, like, with all the campers.