Jun 16, 2026 · 55 min · 12 segments
If you find yourself stuck in endless cycles of bad dating, unfulfilling friendships, and bad sex, this episode will help you get untangled. In this episode, you and I sit down with Jordan Gonsalves…
Jordan GonsalvesGuest
Aidan WhartonHost
And as a good sort of fast forward to how we deal with shame as adults, and you've conducted so many interviews about shame, what are sort of the most common ways that you see shame manifested in adults? For sure.
But I think for gay men and for LGBT people in general, what we struggle with is... validation and it really stems from from our childhoods right um there's a really interesting stat that 83 percent of lgbt people have had some sort of adverse experience as children okay um that's compared to about 50 percent of The general population of American children, that's a big difference.
And when that's not resolved, trauma can really manifest in addiction, compulsive behavior.
But when we engage in those behaviors compulsively, when we're using it to escape from the distressing feelings of shame and loneliness, that can really be issue.
When we are not validated for who we are as children by our parents or by our caregivers, when we're not told you are worthy of love just because you're breathing, we can't develop a strong sense of self.
And so for so many of us, what we end up doing is we end up developing a mentality where we have to hustle for our worth.
And as a good sort of fast forward to how we deal with shame as adults, and you've conducted so many interviews about shame, what are sort of the most common ways that you see shame manifested in adults? For sure.
But I think for gay men and for LGBT people in general, what we struggle with is... validation and it really stems from from our childhoods right um there's a really interesting stat that 83 percent of lgbt people have had some sort of adverse experience as children okay um that's compared to about 50 percent of The general population of American children, that's a big difference.
And when that's not resolved, trauma can really manifest in addiction, compulsive behavior.
But when we engage in those behaviors compulsively, when we're using it to escape from the distressing feelings of shame and loneliness, that can really be issue.
When we are not validated for who we are as children by our parents or by our caregivers, when we're not told you are worthy of love just because you're breathing, we can't develop a strong sense of self.
And so for so many of us, what we end up doing is we end up developing a mentality where we have to hustle for our worth.
The rest of this transcript — segmented and speaker-labeled, so you land on the exact moment something was said
Search every transcript — by keyword, by phrase, or by meaning, across every show Radar indexes
Trends — what is surging across podcasts, measured against its own baseline
Alerts — when a name you follow appears in a newly indexed episode
No account is needed to search Radar.
