Michelangelo – David

It wasn't just the Floridians that took issue with David having his dick out.

You've seen that statue, and on the video version, you're seeing it right now.

But I'll describe it for the listeners.

David is standing up with all his weight on his back leg, his left arm raised close to his chin, almost like the Thinker, and he's holding a sling.

We'll get back to that in a second.

In his right hand, alongside his leg, he's supposed to be holding a rock but you can't really see it all that well.

And by the way, how do you even sculpt a rock out of a rock? Otherwise, he's got a full head of curly hair and a piercing gaze.

He's staring down a mighty opponent.

I'm going to describe David's look with more fractions, so keep up! His look is 71% determination, 26% concentration, and 13% fear.

Yes, percentages are a kind of fraction too.

And yes, these all add up to 110%.

David is an athlete, so he gets 110% because he gives 110%.

That extra 10% is equal to his body fat.

I know because I asked ChatGPT.

Listen, I do proper research.

I've read many books.

I've talked to experts.

In this case, I've even gone all the way to Florence to see the real David.

So I've done my homework.

But when it comes to dumb stuff like asking what's the body fat of a piece of marble, I am going to ask the robots.

And 10% is what they came up with, for context.

Chris Pratt in Parks and Rec had a 30% body fat.

When he got fit in Jurassic Park, he dropped to 15%.

David is even lower at 10%, which means David is ripped.

He's got the washboard abs and his ass looks good, even in denim jeans.