Lindsay Clancy (Final Part)

[outro music] Timothy Chiappini was a detective with the Massachusetts State Police in January 2023.

He testified about the forensic analysis he did on Lindsay's phone.

He told the jury that on January 20th, 2023, there was a search done on Lindsay's phone for can you treat a sociopath at 8.28 p.m.

In her notes app on October 25th, 2022, it reads, I'm sad and depressed because I'm not able to parent my third child like my first.

I want to treat any one of my babies like my first, but I know that's not a feasible possibility.

I'm sad that I stopped breastfeeding.

I feel not as connected with Cal now.

I think I sort of resent my other children because they prevent me from treating Cal like my first baby.

And I know that's not fair to them.

I know that.

I was feeling so depressed last evening when Cor and Dawson came home from school.

I know it rubs off on them, so we had a pretty rough evening.

I want to feel love and connection with all of my kids.

I'm also probably having a bit of an internal conflict because my whole life I've wanted to have a lot of kids.

I still don't want Cal to be our last, but I have a lot of figuring out to do before I have another.

I'm on the fence about starting a new medication for anxiety slash depression.

I just want to feel happy.

I want to be able to relax and take care of my kids.

And when they go to bed at night, I want to deeply relax and hang out with Pat and then fall into a deep sleep for eight hours, get up and pour heart into myself for an hour and a half.

She continues and says that Cal was so very planned and desired.

She also goes on about how hard it is to sleep train him and all the guilt she feels, as well as having stopped breastfeeding.

She wrote how she also didn't want to leave Cal behind at home, but that she needed to be able to be present with her other kids.

She said she's fallen out of the habit of doing anything fun, anything for herself or anything with Pat, and she needs to work on that.

Then she wrote, On a positive note, I had a great deep night of sleep.

I'm terrified of something happening to my kids or doing something wrong to mess up their development.