The Dark Side of Control

Good morning.

So every week we choose a word and I usually choose a word that's relevant for me, which means it'll be relevant for all of you.

And so the word that I chose this week is control.

the paradox of control.

And I'm hoping to integrate some of the conversation that we had with Dan Siegel.

So I'm, I'm a master integrator.

It says

like my secret

skill set of like, I can take anything out of thin air and put it together.

And I actually really think some of the things that Dan Siegel was talking about will help us understand what happens for us when we're caught in the dark side of control and why is it happening? And then what's up to you and what's not up to you, which is the biggest question and, you know, sort of in control.

So our fascination with control and the struggle with control and the paradox of control dates way back.

So if you go back to ancient Greek times, like 100 CE, We have this quote, some things are up to us, some things are not.

And that's from the Stoics, the Stoics that have been contemplating this concept of what's in your power, what's out of your power.

And then we fast forward all the way to Stephen Hayes.

and current modern psychology and his statement which is this is the great battle in psychology whether you can control your thoughts or not he says the issue isn't whether thoughts and feelings can be controlled the issue is whether trying to control them works is it working for you And so I came up with the word control because I, well, you would guess why.