How To Deal With Being Sick Sick?

"Hi, Brett, Sally, and Randy.

I am a 31-year-old male who was re- recently diagnosed with stage four non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, uh, diffuse large B-cell, and have undergone one round of chemo so far.

I'll do my infusions every 21 days, and overall I'm doing fine physically.

Some good days, some bad days, but no nausea or headaches thankfully.

Mentally, I'm more worried about the effects of chemo than dying.

I know the effects of chemo are cumulative, so I'm not looking forward to that.

I do think the baldness suits me, though.

On the topic of death and life, my wife, who's a 32-year-old female, is 22 weeks pregnant with our first child, a baby boy due in December just after I finish chemo.

The hard thing for me is fighting the guilt that I have that I've brought a new life into this world with the potential of me exiting it if my cancer doesn't respond well to the chemo or if it comes back.

Death is whatever to me.

It's a natural part of life, and let's be honest, it's always a possibility with the big C.

The thought of death is not what worries me.

It's the thought of leaving behind my beautiful and loving wife as a single mother and missing out on a life's worth of memories." Talk about the ultimate FOMO.

"She doesn't deserve that, and the thought of that makes me sick.

The guilt of what have you done certainly exists, and it's hard for me to manage.

It all feels like the universe is playing a cruel joke on us.

How can one, or how much can one family endure? I know therapy would be helpful, but I am just completely over spending another minute in a hospital, doctor's office, or seeing yet another new doctor.

I've started Lexapro, and I take, quote, 'gummies.'" Sorry that you live in Texas.

Um, that's to us.

"And both have helped with anxiety, but not with the guilt and," quote, "weight of it all.

What else can I do to overcome this mental hurdle? Sally, from a medical perspective, any tips on getting through chemo besides the standard go for walks, get outside, et cetera? Thankfully, my wife is a nurse, and she has been an amazing caretaker, but when she works, the days I work from home and I'm alone can be isolating and tough.

I miss meeting my clients face to face, I miss the hustle and bustle of my office, and the lack of meaningful social interaction is also so tough.

[clears throat] FYI, for folks wanting to support somebody with cancer or any illness, saying, 'Just let me know if you need anything,' or, 'Let me know how I can help,' doesn't really help at all.

Just do something.

Gift cards, cleaning services, making food, a card with a thoughtful note, or anything really, without asking the already busy and exhausted cancer patient to tell you what they need.