Are You Married, or Just Roommates?

Andy and Stacie Wood on how a marriage drifts from lovers to roommates, what working on it actually looks like, and the conversation about sex and intimacy the church usually avoids. This conversation picks up where the weekend message left off. Watch "Stronger Marriages" first: https://youtu.be/XFandtFb3A8 In Episode 3 of Stronger, Andy and Stacie Wood sit down with Ariel Amaro the week they taught God's design for marriage, and they go where a Sunday message can't: the eight months they ran with no margin and the getaway that reset them, the weekly checkpoint and the shared calendar that keep a marriage current, what to do when the check engine light comes on, and why the difference between working in your marriage and working on it decides what year fifteen looks like. Then they go where most churches don't: why God designed sex for marriage and what gets in the way of it, what Stacie wishes someone had told her before her wedding, why "consistently kind, then very kind" is a better plan than the gas pedal, and what Stacie says to the wife whose husband is caught in pornography and won't get help. Married and drifting, married and fighting for it, or single and wondering what to hope for, this one is for you. BONUS EPISODE TUESDAY Andy and Stacie's hot takes on money, conflict, and how they work through disagreements. Coming Tuesday, October 6. ONE THING TO DO THIS WEEK If you're married: pick one thing this week that works on your marriage instead of in it. A weekly checkpoint, a date, or the conversation you've been putting off. Put it on the calendar. If you're single: write down what you want your marriage to be before you're in one, and pray for the person you haven't met yet. Then send this to a couple who needs it. RESOURCES MENTIONED Celebrate Recovery at Saddleback: https://saddleback.com/sections/get-care/celebrate-recovery/ Saddleback Cares: https://saddleback.com/care/ Female by Design podcast (Francie Winslow): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/female-by-design/id1493541368 CHAPTERS 0:00 Coming up 0:54 Welcome: God's design for marriage 1:57 Episode three: Stronger Marriages 2:19 The Thin Mints story 4:12 What is marriage? Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19, Ephesians 5 6:46 Leaving, cleaving, and what isn't a marriage 8:45 Living like roommates 11:36 Working in your marriage vs. working on it 12:18 Eight months with no margin: the getaway 15:15 If your marriage were a car 17:17 Maintenance: the weekly checkpoint, the shared calendar, date nights 19:39 Getting away, two or three times a year 21:31 When the check engine light comes on 22:01 Keep it current: the four helpful lists 25:10 Agreements 26:50 "Can we schedule time to even have sex?" 28:07 Why the church avoids talking about sex 29:26 Stacie: "All I had heard was save it to marriage" 32:15 Symptom and source: consistently kind, then very kind 34:26 The gas pedal and the brakes 36:22 Getting to the source 38:39 When one spouse wants help and the other doesn't 41:41 To the wife carrying the faith alone 43:27 To the husband who feels like he's failing 46:27 Stay at the table 47:55 To the man with something under the surface 50:43 Bonus episode Tuesday SCRIPTURE IN THIS EPISODE Genesis 2:24 · Matthew 19:4-6 · Ephesians 5:28-31 · 1 Peter 3:1-2 · James 5:16 · Matthew 5:29 · Colossians 3:5 NEW EPISODES EVERY MONDAY Every episode: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOvtcV3aqv-M Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id6812944219 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0MhCJU9jhDFc89e5HwigDw Show site: https://stronger.saddleback.com Stronger is recorded at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, and every episode starts with what was taught that weekend. Wherever you're listening from, this is for you too. Find a campus or join online: https://saddleback.com You were never meant to be strong on your own. #StrongerWithAndyWood #AndyWood #StacieWood #Saddleback #Marriage