how do you help your kids date or find a spouse?

Oh gosh, I didn't know this question was coming.

Okay, well, I think the first thing with dating is becoming the kind of person that's dateable or that is like going to be a good spouse.

And so like once you, you will be ready to start dating When you obey the things that I ask you to do without questioning, when you do your chores without being reminded, when you have integrity with the way that you handle a device, when you treat your mom with respect and you're helpful and you are thoughtful and intentional.

Like when you have those qualities already in your character, when you can start thinking about how you're not only going to provide for yourself, but also another person, that's when you're really start like ready to start dating.

Before then, all you're doing is going to like mess with some girl's heart, you know, and like leave her.

like a track record of pain in your past.

Stacey, what's some hope or encouragement that you could give somebody listening who is hoping to build a stronger home?

But Stacey, I think it's good even for you just to talk about, like we shared some stories even on the way over here, like from our marriage of why this truth has been so significant in so many moments for us.

Yeah, I think it's provided such an anchor and a sturdiness, almost like a safety that I've felt within this concept of covenant.

So this was probably close to like, we'd been married about 10 years or so, maybe not quite 10 years, but we were just going through such a difficult season, not really with our marriage, but with some things going on with our parenting.

And let me just tell you, it was miserable.

I don't know if you've ever been through one of these seasons in your home life where you're just bumping up against all these walls and obstacles and you don't know what to do to help your kids and things are just not going well.

And it's just, home was miserable.

I can't even share with you everything we were going through just because it would make our kids miserable.

don't you start talking a little bit about the whole terms and conditions concept?

What do you say to your kids when people, you know, get a divorce?

Yeah, that happens sadly.

And so we just talk really openly and honestly with our kids about how sad we are that this is happening and that this is not God's design.

And we're just very open and honest about that.

And that, you know, choices are made that, that take people apart from one another.

But the God's desire is that a husband and wife would covenant together.

And our kids are older now.

What would you say to parents or families who are over-involved with their kids' marriages?

Yeah

... about our marriage where, um, this actually wasn't too long ago.

Some of our stories where we reach back, like, couple decades ago, but this one was just maybe four years ago, where we had just moved here to Saddleback, and our lives were incredibly busy.

I mean, we were both just barely keeping our heads above water, being thrown into this very complex, large organization and leadership, and, um, a huge transition for our whole family from one city to another, getting our kids cared for, um, and their, their school and work, our, uh, sports and things.

And I think we were just, we were barely, we were just barely making it, you know, just ourselves.

Like, just, just keep going.

Just do one day at a time.

Yeah

So we're gonna look at three primary passages, starting in Genesis 2:24.

Okay, so I'm gonna read these three passages to you, and what you're gonna notice is that there is one verse that is repeated in all three passages, and that's very significant because the first passage is from the very beginning, the creation story.

The second passage is when Jesus is teaching in the Gospels, and He's going to point back to that same verse.

And then Paul, after Jesus has gone back to Heaven, Paul's teaching the church, and he's gonna point back to that same verse.

So a, a wildly significant verse when it talks about family life and marriage.

So look along with me in your notes or on the screen.

It says in Genesis 2:24, "For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Now, over in the Gospel of Matthew, this is what Jesus says in chapter 19.

The husband cares for his wife, but also the wife has a different way that God calls her to love her husband.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think one thing that we, there are so many virtues that come out of this woman that are so helpful for women as you're looking for an example of the type of woman to be.

Like this is an industrious woman.

This is a woman who works hard, who is not lazy.

And she works inside of her home.

It says that...

She watches over the affairs of her household.

I like the 44-year-old version.

Let's dive in.

Today is the second week of this stronger series.

And this has been a big week for us.

Andy kicked it off last weekend with this amazing message about stronger men.

And it was so good.

If you haven't listened to that message, really want to encourage you to go back and listen to that message because that message and this message go in partnership with one another.

It was really good.

Yeah.

The rest of creation, he had said that it was good.

He saw that it was good, and then he gets to humans and he says, "It's very good." And so I, the, the design of God was created to flourish, and I think that that brings a sense of, um, hopefulness and, like, this is good news, that there's a design to all of this.

Because we can get so confused by the different cultural narratives and by what is, uh, what does it mean to be a good man or to be a good woman or to have a good marriage or, like, there are so many different competing voices.

Mm-hmm.

It was part of the beauty, the goodness of creation was his work.

But in the curse, that, that core piece of a man's, um, identity and, and what they do with their life is cursed.

But for a woman, it's really interesting the type of curse that they experience.

Yeah.

The rest of creation, he had said that it was good.

He saw that it was good, and then he gets to humans and he says, "It's very good." And so I, the, the design of God was created to flourish, and I think that that brings a sense of, um, hopefulness and, like, this is good news, that there's a design to all of this.

Because we can get so confused by the different cultural narratives and by what is, uh, what it, what does it mean to be a good man or to be a good woman or to have a good marriage or, like, there are so many different competing voices.

Mm-hmm.

It was part of the beauty, the goodness of creation, was this work.

But in the curse, that, that core piece of a man's, um, identity and, and what they do with their life is cursed.

But for a woman, it's really interesting the type of curse that they experience.