Oct 7, 2026 · 59 min · 12 segments
Send us Fan Mail Danny M. Goldberg is a serial entrepreneur, speaker, trainer, and author who describes himself as a recovering people-pleaser. In…
David PasqualoneHost
Danny GoldbergGuest
So for the people listening, they're like, "Oh man, yeah, I get stuck with all the losers that I date, and these great people are going with the losers." What's something you learned about that in your life? We'll just pick that topic as one.

Like, how are you reprogramming your mind to stop being a people pleaser and a doormat to having that self-assertion and balance?

When we went to college, I found out she was dating another guy after we had just decided to be friends, and I looked at his, let's just say characteristics, and he was not a good guy.

He was just generally not a good guy, had a little bit of a, a criminal record, just all kinds of stuff.

And I'm like, "After me, this is where she goes?" And so I started to realize that I can't focus on other people, and I'll give you another example, my marriage.

And what I found too, David, is, and again, maybe I'm learning more balance in my life right now, but I would find myself to have these emotional outbursts because I didn't know how to handle my decision-making and my people pleasing, quite frankly.

I was so focused on others that eventually I'd get so frustrated I'd just blow up, and I would do that with my ex-wife, I'd do that with my kids.

And so I've learned, and in the book we're talking a little bit about that, on how to manage that as well.

But just in dating world right now, man, I've got a girlfriend, she's a wonderful woman, but I've learned a lot that women in today's world are very materialistic, quite frankly.

And the recurring message I give to anybody is focus on yourself and, and growth in your own right, and everything good will come to you.

Don't focus on people that aren't gonna give you time, that aren't gonna treat you with the respect that you need.

And I think that's not a dating skill, David, that's a life skill right there.

And also, when you're who God made you to be and you're confident in it, if somebody doesn't treat you the way you should be treated, male or female, don't give that person time.

'Cause it's almost like a lot of people who are people pleasers, when the scumbag, I'm gonna use the term scumbag

... guy or girl, but when the scumbags push them off or abuse them or flat out lie to them, it's like they're almost trying to save them or rescue them or win their approval.

So for the people listening, they're like, "Oh man, yeah, I get stuck with all the losers that I date, and these great people are going with the losers." What's something you learned about that in your life? We'll just pick that topic as one.

Like, how are you reprogramming your mind to stop being a people pleaser and a doormat to having that self-assertion and balance?

When we went to college, I found out she was dating another guy after we had just decided to be friends, and I looked at his, let's just say characteristics, and he was not a good guy.

He was just generally not a good guy, had a little bit of a, a criminal record, just all kinds of stuff.

And I'm like, "After me, this is where she goes?" And so I started to realize that I can't focus on other people, and I'll give you another example, my marriage.

And what I found too, David, is, and again, maybe I'm learning more balance in my life right now, but I would find myself to have these emotional outbursts because I didn't know how to handle my decision-making and my people pleasing, quite frankly.

I was so focused on others that eventually I'd get so frustrated I'd just blow up, and I would do that with my ex-wife, I'd do that with my kids.

And so I've learned, and in the book we're talking a little bit about that, on how to manage that as well.

But just in dating world right now, man, I've got a girlfriend, she's a wonderful woman, but I've learned a lot that women in today's world are very materialistic, quite frankly.

And the recurring message I give to anybody is focus on yourself and, and growth in your own right, and everything good will come to you.

Don't focus on people that aren't gonna give you time, that aren't gonna treat you with the respect that you need.

And I think that's not a dating skill, David, that's a life skill right there.

And also, when you're who God made you to be and you're confident in it, if somebody doesn't treat you the way you should be treated, male or female, don't give that person time.

'Cause it's almost like a lot of people who are people pleasers, when the scumbag, I'm gonna use the term scumbag

... guy or girl, but when the scumbags push them off or abuse them or flat out lie to them, it's like they're almost trying to save them or rescue them or win their approval.
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