Oooh, y- I get this all the time, and your, your picker, and I'm using that term 'cause that...
I don't know in other countries what you say, but the, the mechanism where you, you know, pick someone to be with.
Um, your picker isn't broken, but it is biased, and that bias was installed a really long time ago, and there are three interlocking, uh, psychological mechanisms that really explain why smart, self-aware people, I see you, keep landing in the same kinds of relationships.
And once you understand all three, all three, the pattern stops feeling like a personal failure and starts making complete sense.
So I know some of you wanna sh- you know, go, "Well, tell me what to do, Abby." Just, you know, flip to that.
The problem, again, I say it all the time, is when you don't understand the why, you won't do the what.
You won't realize how important it is, so you'll make your own decisions about whether, you know, whatever action steps I give, you'll be like, "Ah, it's not very important," or, "I don't know why she threw that in there." You need to know why I'm including the things I include, 'cause I always base it on the research.
Oooh, y- I get this all the time, and your, your picker, and I'm using that term 'cause that...
I don't know in other countries what you say, but the, the mechanism where you, you know, pick someone to be with.
Um, your picker isn't broken, but it is biased, and that bias was installed a really long time ago, and there are three interlocking, uh, psychological mechanisms that really explain why smart, self-aware people, I see you, keep landing in the same kinds of relationships.
And once you understand all three, all three, the pattern stops feeling like a personal failure and starts making complete sense.
So I know some of you wanna sh- you know, go, "Well, tell me what to do, Abby." Just, you know, flip to that.
The problem, again, I say it all the time, is when you don't understand the why, you won't do the what.
You won't realize how important it is, so you'll make your own decisions about whether, you know, whatever action steps I give, you'll be like, "Ah, it's not very important," or, "I don't know why she threw that in there." You need to know why I'm including the things I include, 'cause I always base it on the research.
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