Oct 5, 2026 · 31 min · 9 segments
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I didn't feel it was right for me to come back amid everything that we're learning about the Cornell University gang rape and not address it and not give my perspective on where I feel like I can add value.
I'm going to be talking about how we engage with men who are acting in bad faith online.
But I'm not going to be talking about the actual story itself and covering details of the story.
But I will put timestamps in the description down below, regardless, of course.
So I've been thinking a lot about how I want to address this, where I can add the most value.
And what I think I want to get across in this as somebody who obviously reports on internet culture, reports on discourse and its consequences, and has also covered the manosphere many times and reaped some consequences myself from that, is I have seen over the past week so many amazing women in the comment sections, in stitches, in videos, essentially going to bat against men who are taking Jane Doe's account of things in bad faith, who are defending the rapists and who are pretending like they don't know that gang rape is so bad.
And I just want to very gently caution all of us women who are in the comment sections and in the stitches and making videos, trying to quote unquote, educate these men or fire back at these men.
Them pretending that they don't is them being intentionally obtuse and acting in bad faith intentionally.
So first of all, we cannot be using our energy and our emotional vulnerability and our anger and everything that we're feeling.
We cannot be using all of that to try and educate people men who don't want to be educated.
They will hate us no matter what if they are in the comment sections defending men like that.
But second, I feel there's another layer to this, which is if we as women comment something back to them or make a video in response to them and it triggers them just a little bit too much, that can also put us in a lot of danger.
I have talked about the manosphere and made content related to incels and the manosphere long before it became this mainstream topic.
And I've actually ended up in two incel forums over the years, one as long as over 10 years ago from making this content.
And I really think the only reason why I was somewhat protected in both of those situations is both of the times the content that I made was in collaboration with an adult man.
And I think that added a layer of protection for me, which is why things didn't like spiral out of control.
But like I ended up in these forums and obviously there were some consequences to that in terms of my online footprint in terms of the messages that I was getting in terms of all of that.
I didn't feel it was right for me to come back amid everything that we're learning about the Cornell University gang rape and not address it and not give my perspective on where I feel like I can add value.
I'm going to be talking about how we engage with men who are acting in bad faith online.
But I'm not going to be talking about the actual story itself and covering details of the story.
But I will put timestamps in the description down below, regardless, of course.
So I've been thinking a lot about how I want to address this, where I can add the most value.
And what I think I want to get across in this as somebody who obviously reports on internet culture, reports on discourse and its consequences, and has also covered the manosphere many times and reaped some consequences myself from that, is I have seen over the past week so many amazing women in the comment sections, in stitches, in videos, essentially going to bat against men who are taking Jane Doe's account of things in bad faith, who are defending the rapists and who are pretending like they don't know that gang rape is so bad.
And I just want to very gently caution all of us women who are in the comment sections and in the stitches and making videos, trying to quote unquote, educate these men or fire back at these men.
Them pretending that they don't is them being intentionally obtuse and acting in bad faith intentionally.
So first of all, we cannot be using our energy and our emotional vulnerability and our anger and everything that we're feeling.
We cannot be using all of that to try and educate people men who don't want to be educated.
They will hate us no matter what if they are in the comment sections defending men like that.
But second, I feel there's another layer to this, which is if we as women comment something back to them or make a video in response to them and it triggers them just a little bit too much, that can also put us in a lot of danger.
I have talked about the manosphere and made content related to incels and the manosphere long before it became this mainstream topic.
And I've actually ended up in two incel forums over the years, one as long as over 10 years ago from making this content.
And I really think the only reason why I was somewhat protected in both of those situations is both of the times the content that I made was in collaboration with an adult man.
And I think that added a layer of protection for me, which is why things didn't like spiral out of control.
But like I ended up in these forums and obviously there were some consequences to that in terms of my online footprint in terms of the messages that I was getting in terms of all of that.
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