461. Let’s Lower the Bar Together

one of my okay things, one of the things that is just getting me through lately is My life is like the most boring things about my life, things that I have not engaged in in quite a while.

And if you have been listening for years, you probably know that my husband was a stay-at-home dad for seven years, for seven years.

Seven years, he took over all of the domestic duties.

And I've had a little bit of time to reflect, and I'm writing about this.

I've written a little bit about it, but I'm going to be writing more.

I don't know that that was the fairest distribution of labor to basically defect from all aspects of home life and just sort of pop in like a 1950s father.

at night and on weekends but you know that's what i did i did not do a load of laundry i did not fold any laundry i did not cook i cooked every once in a while like for fun i'd be like this one's on me i picked up mcdonald's this one's on me i heated up pizzas this one's on me i would make like a really complicated meal realize halfway through i don't have any of you know all of the right ingredients and and things are kind of ruined I did not – I didn't take the kids to the pediatrician.

I did not book their dentist appointments.

Matthew did a lot.

If you're a stay-at-home parent right now, and also if you are a working parent, if you are not even a parent but you are keeping yourself alive to do all of this stuff, to work and take care of your life, whatever your life entails, can I just ask you right now to stretch widely and pat yourself on the back? hard.

Because it's so much.

It is so much.

I saw a TikTok from a very young kid who was like, how did our parents do this? You know, I'm working, you know, 8.30 to like, you know, 5.30? Like, when do we make dinner and go to the gym and, you know, do our laundry and clean our houses and see our friends and see our families and also like have leisure time? Like, when do we do this? And he, you know, really seemed in awe of himself and previous generations as he should.

as he should.

I really think, you know, I don't like to get into the, the, um, the difficulty Olympics, the suffering Olympics.

Um, I really do think it's an astonishing feat to, to be alive in 2026 and keep your head above water.

Um, you know, the, the cost of living has not kept pace with our wages.

Things are, are tough.

Um, Matthew went back to work, um, For a lot of reasons, it's an exhausting thing to be home.

taking care of kids.

When the kids go to school, you're just at home doing all that.

It was just a lot.

And he always really liked his work.

He was really good at it.

And he wasn't sure if he'd be able to go back.