Masculinity: The strength, the stress and the hidden cost

[upbeat music] Nirup pre-divorce was the planner.

Mm-hmm.

Everything's planned out for the next 50 years.

You got your stocks and shares ISA.

You got this, you got that.

Yeah.

I can see where stuff is going.

All of a sudden, the relationship comes to an end and it's just fog everywhere.

Yeah.

I don't even know what direction to walk in.

Like, where do I take the next step? I couldn't see anything.

And so to walk through that was difficult.

But I realized that I don't wanna stand in the storm and let the storm, um, uh, just overtake me.

I wanna walk through it.

I wanna come out the other side.

My dad is very good at dropping quotes, the one-liners-

[laughs]

...

the encouragement.

Like my dad, yeah.

[laughs]

He said to me, he said to me like, you know, um, when I, when I told him I want to get a divorce, he said, his exact words, "How you handle this will define who you are as a man." A healthy way of being masculine is being aware of your emotions, knowing it's okay to be vulnerable, that to, to share your feelings.

To still be strong and still be the provider and still be the protector, but not feel that you can't open up and talk about what you, what, what you're going through with your partner.

I always say a man should be able to look at himself in the mirror first thing in the morning-

Mm

... and a woman, of course-

Yeah

... and be proud of who they see in that reflection.

How you treat your daughter is how she will ex- expect to be treated by her future partner.

That's my exact thoughts.

Right?

That would have been my [laughs] exact thoughts exactly, yeah.

Right? And so it's like, this is what, this is what you're worth.

Mm-hmm.