the death of the cool girl

The thing that I would love to talk about today is putting to death this pressure to be a cool girl.

Today we are putting to death the cool girl in all of us.

I'm really sorry for the boys that are listening.

I do know that there is a percentage of men that listen to this podcast.

But surely, whether you have habits of trying to be a cool girl or a cool boy, I think that this topic is relevant to everybody.

But for the sake of the 90-something percent listeners that are women, I'm ...

We, we are gonna be talking about the cool girl, but this applies to everybody.

Okay But, um, one of the things that I talk about throughout my book is the concept of letting go of this pressure to be a, like, cool girl.

And if that confuses you, [laughs] you know what? I receive this.

I bet a lot of you guys listening right now are like, "Allie, but you are a cool girl." Please, don't make me blush.

[laughs] Okay, I'm a cool girl now, but, like, in a way that is not the unhealthy cool girl that I used to be.

Okay? And I'm gonna put into definition [laughs] I'm gonna put into definition the cool girl that I'm talking about that should be put to death in all of us.

And if you don't struggle with this, tea.

Honestly, God bless you.

That's incredible.

But for me, this was something that I struggled with deeply for a majority of my life, especially going into, like, your high school years and your college years, and it even started for me a little bit in, like, middle school.

It's just like when you get to that age where you're, like, so self-aware of other people and, uh, yourself.

Maybe not even a self-awareness, but it's like a self-consciousness where you just begin to, uh, observe how other people are, and then you observe how you are, and then you compare.

And you're like, "Wait a minute.

I, I want this person to respond to me like, like they respond to that person, and so I'm gonna be a little bit like that person, and then I'm gonna be a little bit of this because I saw the way that people responded really well when I acted like this versus acting like that." And I think that becoming a cool girl in your life is not, like, an overnight thing, at least for me.

Like, this was not something that happened to me overnight where I was just like, "I'm just a cool girl who just, like, goes with the flow, and, like, I'm so low maintenance, and, like, I really could just..." I don't know why she has a valley girl accent.

[laughs] Whatever.

But, like, that's the voice in my head.

That's what she sounds like.

She's just like, "Give me a break.