Aug 4, 2026 · 46 min · 13 segments
Brett sits down with author Josh Silver to talk about his debut adult novel, Fruit Fly. They talk his previous acting career, working as a mental health nurse, appropriation, intention, gay identity…
Josh SilverGuest
Brett BennerHost
I also think, you know, now, and this is something we can get into in relation to the book, the whole social media component and what that does now.
And I can't imagine for people, but even beyond actors, just the whole influencer vibe and that whole thing and what it does to people.
What that does, I can't imagine how awful some of this was to arrive to where you needed to be, but to come to that understanding for yourself and come through it, you know, and be okay.
I don't think, you know, there's the sort of notion of thinking I couldn't have written the books I'd written if I hadn't been through what I've been through.
I actually, when I was 17 and at school, I applied to Cambridge University because I did well at school and I got in to read English at Cambridge.
And I remember going to the postbox and having the two, it was in the days of postboxes, having the two letters in my hands and I had my no to Cambridge and my yes to RADA and like looking up at the sky in very dramatic fashion and being like, please, can this be the right choice? And then, you know, I got to drama school and I actually felt like I'd made a mistake for the most of my experience there.
And I felt, I think part of the reason I fell into like very unhealthy coping mechanisms was I felt like I didn't align with acting and I felt like I didn't have the confidence or that confidence was taken away from me and I felt like I couldn't quite meet my potential.
in that arena and I spent so much of my time thinking I should have done English I should have studied Cambridge I would have you know I'm from Salford in Manchester and that kind of opportunity doesn't come around that often and I think lots of people were very surprised that I didn't take that route but I look back now and I think but the books that I write are very much I've been able to meet parts of myself that I didn't know were there and that are very important to turn those rocks over for myself and they hugely inspire my writing and as a gay man which is what I struggled with a lot of it was coming to terms with who I was was part of the pain I was feeling that pain is um very much central to a lot of my writing and it is amazing to be able to connect with people through that and to find a readership but also to have people perhaps learn a little bit about the experience of how it can be for queer people and how the change in the media landscape and the societal conversation has affected us and our emotional world.
But also I think avoidance of pain is something I'm very interested in because I did it for so long with substances and...
The reason I've written five books in five years and nursed full-time is because I'm intent on avoiding myself and I will only settle when I feel like I've achieved a certain amount of things.
But I also think that I'm trying to interrogate a part of the human experience that I think The world that we live in now, it gives us so many opportunities to remove ourselves from, which is like sitting with uncomfortable pain and what that is and where it's come from.
I also think, you know, now, and this is something we can get into in relation to the book, the whole social media component and what that does now.
And I can't imagine for people, but even beyond actors, just the whole influencer vibe and that whole thing and what it does to people.
What that does, I can't imagine how awful some of this was to arrive to where you needed to be, but to come to that understanding for yourself and come through it, you know, and be okay.
I don't think, you know, there's the sort of notion of thinking I couldn't have written the books I'd written if I hadn't been through what I've been through.
I actually, when I was 17 and at school, I applied to Cambridge University because I did well at school and I got in to read English at Cambridge.
And I remember going to the postbox and having the two, it was in the days of postboxes, having the two letters in my hands and I had my no to Cambridge and my yes to RADA and like looking up at the sky in very dramatic fashion and being like, please, can this be the right choice? And then, you know, I got to drama school and I actually felt like I'd made a mistake for the most of my experience there.
And I felt, I think part of the reason I fell into like very unhealthy coping mechanisms was I felt like I didn't align with acting and I felt like I didn't have the confidence or that confidence was taken away from me and I felt like I couldn't quite meet my potential.
in that arena and I spent so much of my time thinking I should have done English I should have studied Cambridge I would have you know I'm from Salford in Manchester and that kind of opportunity doesn't come around that often and I think lots of people were very surprised that I didn't take that route but I look back now and I think but the books that I write are very much I've been able to meet parts of myself that I didn't know were there and that are very important to turn those rocks over for myself and they hugely inspire my writing and as a gay man which is what I struggled with a lot of it was coming to terms with who I was was part of the pain I was feeling that pain is um very much central to a lot of my writing and it is amazing to be able to connect with people through that and to find a readership but also to have people perhaps learn a little bit about the experience of how it can be for queer people and how the change in the media landscape and the societal conversation has affected us and our emotional world.
But also I think avoidance of pain is something I'm very interested in because I did it for so long with substances and...
The reason I've written five books in five years and nursed full-time is because I'm intent on avoiding myself and I will only settle when I feel like I've achieved a certain amount of things.
But I also think that I'm trying to interrogate a part of the human experience that I think The world that we live in now, it gives us so many opportunities to remove ourselves from, which is like sitting with uncomfortable pain and what that is and where it's come from.
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