160 // Neurodivergence in Friendships, with Caroline Maguire

I do wanna get into talking today.

So I read your book, The Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults, and I will link that below as well.

But I wanted you to tell us a little bit about what inspired you to write this book.

You know, I have always thought about writing a book for adults, but when I went into the publishing world, when I sold my first book, Why Won't No One Play With Me?, which was for parents helping their kids, the publishing world was so different, and they were basically like, "You can't use diagnostic labels.

You can say executive function, but no one's gonna buy a book that is a- about ADHD and, and autism and stuff.

They're, that's a niche book," right? That's not a major publisher book.

You know, other than Ned Hallowell, who seems to have this magic potion where he writes them and people buy them on a national level.

And so I, they had, we had talked about me writing an adult book way back in 2019, but, like, they had so many restrictions in the publishing world.

Like, they wanted this, they wanted that.

They didn't want this, and I was like, "No, I'm, I'm not writing that book.

That book is, like, too watered down." And then, you know, as I went around promoting Why Won't No One Play With Me?, I was lucky.

It was just before the pandemic.

I got to see real people, and everybody in every ballroom, every news station was like, "We need a book for adults.

Like, I am a parent, but I can't help my kid because I don't know how to make friends." And then I did some work with Jessica McCabe for her book, and as she was writing her book, she just kept being like, "We need an adult book.

[laughs] We need an adult book.

We need an adult book." And then because of the explosion in diagnostic rates, as well as Jessica McCabe's book doing well, other people's books doing well, the publishing world suddenly, like, discovered us and said, "Oh, you guys are a market." And I know that sounds really crass, but it's the truth, and I think people should know it because I think it's important for them to know, too, why it's important to support these books.

And so they, my imprint that I'm with that's about inclusion and diversity is, literally was formed when I got the book, like, just before I got the book deal.

And what was great was suddenly the publishing world was like, "You can write a book.

You can have diagnostic labels in the title.

You can write it very much for this population, you know, in the top two publishing houses in America, and it will sell." And so that was part of why this took so long, was literally I think the ADHD community coming together and pr- and sharing other books helped the publishing world learn.

So I've always wanted to do this, but I just didn't wanna do some watered-down version.

I knew it had to be a certain way.

Do you know what I mean?

Mm-hmm.

And I was, like, unwilling to do what they wanted me to do in 2019.