How to Heal Your Boundaries (Not Just Set Them) with Judy Hu

Get "Liberate Your Business" by Becky Mollenkamp at https://liberateyourbusiness.com/ FIND ALL OF OUR CONVERSATIONS AT https://YesAndOtherwise.com Most boundary advice is about rules: what to say and where to draw the line. Trauma therapist turned boundary coach Judy Hu, author of "The Boundary Revolution," says that's the last step.  Becky and Faith talk with Judy about healing boundaries at the root, which means coming back to "same-size" with everyone else, treating discomfort as ancestral information, and asking whether what we call personality is really an adaptation to trauma.  They also cover raising teens in a culture that tells girls what they're worth, why safety in empire often just means survival, what the Cornell case shows about domination and moral injury, and how to hold people accountable without repeating the harm. 00:41 From trauma therapist to boundary coach, and seeing collective trauma everywhere 02:18 Icebreaker: favorite childhood TV shows 05:27 The story on repeat: teen daughters, unsupervised parties, and messages about worth 10:31 Judy's earliest memory: growing up in an immigrant family in a mostly white community 12:10 Encouraging defiance while keeping kids safe 18:50 Pleasing someone outside vs. inside; decolonization as reclaiming the body 21:09 Cornell, body sovereignty, and why this hurts in our bones 23:30 Healed boundaries: the felt circles and "same-sizedness" 30:11 Healing in community and reparenting the wounded child and adaptive teen 34:01 "I am the dream of my ancestors": healing backward and forward 37:19 Healed boundaries vs. boundary "rules" 42:18 Cornell as microcosm: empathy without excusing harm 47:01 Directing rage at the system; conflict as a path to authentic connection 50:18 Yes and Otherwise: asking for help and tolerating receiving it Resources Mentioned • The Boundary Revolution: Decolonize Your Relationships and Discover a New Path to Joy by Judy Hu (book and audiobook) • Judy Hu: theboundaryrevolution.com • My Grandmother's Hands by Resmaa Menakem • Kinstead, an intentional community in the Hudson Valley, NY • Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg) 🎤 JOIN US IN THE FEMINIST PODCASTERS COLLECTIVE: https://feministpodcastcollective.com/