Your circle is your ceiling: how to build the support system which changes your life with Dr Lalitaa Suglani | Future Self Series Ep.10

Thank you so much, Grace, for having me.

Welcome back to episode 10 of the Future Self series.

My name is Dr. Lalita.

I'm a psychologist.

I'm an author.

And I'm so excited to be here to talk all about relationships.

So this is part of module three, which is all about the systems around you that really help you to become successful.

So today's system we're going to focus on is all about your friends and your family.

It's your interpersonal relationships.

Today I thought we'd do something a little bit different.

So I'm going to be answering your friendship dilemmas.

I hear these dilemmas often that come up in clinic.

And for me, it's really important that you understand, like, what do you need to do? How do you need to help yourself? So let's get straight into it.

So thank you to everyone who has sent in their dilemmas.

We are going to start with dilemma number one, which is, I've just told my friends I'm going to go freelance and start my own business.

But every single one of them kept dwelling on how risky the idea was.

I felt confident with my plan before now.

I'm really starting to doubt myself.

Should I be listening to them? Or am I surrounding myself with the wrong people? I think first of all, we need to understand that the people around you, they don't see the same vision.

They might be coming with their own insecurities, their own doubts.

Depending on what your relationship is like with this person, let them know that when you say this, it makes me feel like I'm not capable of doing this.

And that can deepen the connection, but it can also make you realize that actually maybe this friend isn't the right person for me to talk to.

Don't stop living and dreaming and doing the things that you know you're capable of because someone else can't see what you can see.

So dilemma number two, my best friend is brutally honest.

She will make quite cutting jokes often and then downplay it saying it's just tough love and that I'd rather hear it from her.