You can't change what you can't be with A conversation with David Young

**The Enlightened Family Business Podcast** **Ep. 168: You Can't Change What You Can't Be With — A Conversation with David Young**   In this episode of the Enlightened Family Business Podcast, host Chris Yonker sits down with David Young — somatic experiencing practitioner, collective trauma healer, co-executive director at Somatic Experiencing International, and founder of The Art of Collective Integration — for a wide-ranging conversation on one of the most underexplored dimensions of human development: why intelligent, well-educated people keep repeating patterns that hurt them, and what it actually takes to change. David brings a remarkable lineage to this work — the son of an African American former Black Panther-turned-missionary and a Taiwanese mother, trained in intelligence analysis, East Asian philosophy, pastoral ministry, and somatic psychology. Together Chris and David explore why transformation isn't a cognitive event but a full-body physiological experience; why self-help books give us the cherry on top without the cake underneath; the difference between cultivating performance and cultivating wisdom; how the nervous system holds patterns that fire faster than the speed of thought; why anxiety in the rising generation is best met with co-regulation before analysis; what resilience actually means and why it's the highway to both personal and collective change; and what it looks like to raise a generation that can hold the complexity of a volatile, uncertain, rapidly accelerating world. This is a conversation for anyone who has ever wondered why knowing better doesn't always lead to doing better. # Episode Chapters ·       1:07   Meet David Young ·       4:05   Breaking Patterns — What's Really Going On ·       5:55   Developing the Rising Generation for the Future ·       7:00   The Stages of Development Haven't Changed — But Everything Else Has ·       10:56  Belonging vs. Becoming: The Tension Every Rising Gen Faces ·       15:37  Why Highly Intelligent People Keep Repeating Harmful Patterns ·       17:24  Why Self-Help Books Give You the Realization Without the Change ·       22:36  Same Car, Different Engine: What Changes When Healing Happens ·       23:09  Performance Culture vs. Wisdom Culture ·       27:53  Pain and Pleasure Are Not Enough — The Limits of Leverage ·       29:33  What the Nervous System Has to Do With Everything ·       34:35  Anxiety in the Rising Generation — What's Really Driving It ·       36:52  Co-Regulation: The First Step Before Asking Why ·       41:14  Building Resilience: The Highway to Personal and Collective Change ·       47:16  Resilience Is the Capacity to Stay in Flow With Adversity ·       48:01  A Message for Parents and Family Principals ·       50:28  Resources and Farewell   # Websites ·       artofcollectiveintegration.com ·       traumahealing.org ·       chrisyonker.com   # About David Young David Young 楊正賢, M.A., CMMT is the Co-Executive Director of Somatic Experiencing International and the founder and lead teacher of The Art of Collective Integration (ACI), a methodology for addressing collective trauma and societal polarization through somatic, relational, and systems-based practices. As a collective trauma integration facilitator, certified mindfulness meditation teacher, and executive coach, David supports communities and organizations through critical transitions — helping them heal from collective trauma, navigate complexity, and enable healthy communication in polarized environments. With 20+ years of experience in leadership development, systems change, and trauma-informed consulting, David brings a unique approach that integrates somatic awareness, collective intelligence, and wisdom traditions to foster resilient, adaptive organizations. He has designed and facilitated large-scale leadership retreats and community healing initiatives in over 30 cities across the US and Europe, focusing on intergenerational leadership, cultural resilience, and conflict transformation. He is also a co-creator and co-facilitator of Attuned: Becoming Trauma Informed & Trauma Responsive in Professional Settings (accredited by the Law Society of Ontario) and The Leadership Dojo, an eight-week practice-based facilitation training. A student of collective trauma healing with Thomas Hübl, David holds multiple certifications in mindfulness, trauma facilitation, and conscious leadership, and is a teacher on Insight Timer, a global meditation app. He enjoys traveling, camping with his kids, martial arts, and hanging out in tea shops.