Connected Kids: Break Screen Habits & Build Strong Families

Um, but, you know, and I, and I can't say what that amount is specifically for any individual.

Um, but what I can say with certainty is that as parents, we are in the best position to make those decisions about our child's developmental, balancing our child's developmental, emotional, family, school, academic, cognitive, and leisure needs, um, with input from, you know, somebody who may be more of an expert on technology and the way it affects our brain development, but that each one of us as a parent is the expert on our child.

And, um, you know, what experts know is that you don't make good, clear-headed decisions when we're operating out of a place of fear.

And there's something about, um, about screen usage and technology that really, you know, I just want to acknowledge for myself and for a lot of parents I speak to, really triggers a strong emotional reaction in us around our kids.

Um, I'll tell you the pattern that happens in my house, which is that I'm going around, I'm doing stuff, I'm working, I'm doing errands around the house, and my kids are quiet in the other room and they're on their phones or tablets.

And then all of a sudden, I get to a stopping point and I notice what time it is and I burst into the room going, "What are you doing? You've been on this all, you know, for hours.

Your brains are rotting.

You're missing your childhood.

It's beautiful outside." Right? And they're going, "Well, wait.

What a minute.

What, what, what just happened?" You know, it's all this conversation around sort of this, this fear and concern, um, and my own needs as a parent that all come together into a very complicated cocktail.

Um, but I, I, I do know that, uh, we don't make our best decisions in a fearful way, that and when we react to our children with big emotions, it drives them into secrecy and, um, creates guilt and shame all around.

And shame is the enemy of growth and learning and relationship.

Um, you know, I, I, I was looking at the questions that, that came in, uh, before the class and it really tells a remarkable story.

You know, parents aren't you who are here today and filled this out.

You're not losing sleep over the technology itself, but I see an exhaustion, um, an exhaustion from the relational friction that all of this creates trying to find your way through this with your, with your kids.

Um, 38% of parents are stuck in a loop of managing limits.

17% are dealing with raw emotional combat every time a device gets turned off and, and that's a lot.

Um, you know, but I think that, you know, some, some, some ways that, some things that I say to myself are when my children are, it's time for a transition, is that it's hard for anybody to stop doing something that's really fun for something that is less fun, right? Um, my kids when they were little had a hard time leaving the playground also.

My kids when they w- you know, still now spend a lot of time in the shower or the bath.

When it's time to get out, I tell them it's time to get out.

When it's time to leave the playground, I say it's time to leave the play- playground.

But there's something about that device that triggers a different reaction of, of, of fear and moral judgment.

Whereas, you know, it's, it's just a, a thing that's hard to leave sometimes, hard to stop.

So when we can start to give ourselves that separation, give our child that grace, see the technology for what it is, um, it will open up a space where we can make our best decision.