Making Magic in Midlife

[upbeat music] Hey, Brad, so welcome to My So-Called Midlife.

You're, like, the third, fourth, or fifth dude we've had on, so you're in good company, and we're glad to have you.

I have so much I wanna talk to you about, but before we jump in, I always ask everybody the same question: What's your midlife mindset like? Some people are like, "This is amazing, best time of my life." Some people are like, "This sucks.

I wish I was 20 again." Like, where do you sit? I've...

I think I know where, but I wanna know where you sit.

It just changed, actually.

Really?

Yeah, because I went and did a Hoffman Retreat.

[gasps] That's so crazy!

Mm.

I've been trying...

Oh, my God, this is, like, a sign that I need to do it.

I went there because I thought I was completely like, "You know what? I'm not in crisis right now.

My kids are getting bigger.

This is the next phase.

How do I approach it?" And I thought to my...

I said to my wife, "You know, I'm, I could be open to the universe, and that's what I need to do." And I went there, and it knocked me out of my socks.

And I, and I think where my mindset is right now is just a moment of being a little bit more gentle with myself 'cause I'm just a, you know, like anyone else, like, if I'm on your podcast, it means at some point in my life, I was like, "Achieve, achieve, achieve, achieve," and I'm thankful that I did all that.

I wouldn't take it back, but I'm not sure I was always being as kind to myself as I probably should have been, and I think that all the advice I've been putting in the universe has been good, solid, beautiful advice, but I don't know if I was myself taking it because I was so busy saying it.

Hundred percent.

So, like, have you broken up with your obsession with achievement? Which I say this as somebody who is, like, you know, the same thing.

Yeah, you know, I, I got over achievement long ago.

I will say that.

I got over that long ago because once you have, you know, books out and people are buying them and people are reviewing them, I don't think for one second that people who say I'm the best writer in the world, that they're right, and I therefore can't believe that the ones who say I'm the worst are right.

So I've made my peace with, like, that.