"You Didn't Talk to Me All Day, Now You Want Sex?" with Couples Therapist George Faller

Why does he reach for you at night when he barely spoke to you all day? And why does your "not tonight" feel to him like the door closing? Natassia sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist George Faller, founder of the New York Center for Emotionally Focused Therapy and co-author of *Brave Love, Great Sex*. George is a former FDNY lieutenant who became a couples therapist after 9/11, when nobody else in the room wanted to work with the firefighter couples. He's also the first man on the podcast.  Together they unpack attachment styles, the pursuer–withdrawer cycle, emotionally focused therapy, "criss-cross" couples, male desire, low libido, the mental load, repair after conflict, triggers, co-regulation, scheduling sex, and why "vulnerability" is the wrong word to use with men. They explore why so many couples swap roles between the living room and the bedroom—she pursues the conversation, he pursues the touch, and each becomes the other the moment they're rejected.  From the fight that starts in less than a tenth of a second to the therapy advice George says sets men up to fail, this conversation makes the case that men's sexual pursuit isn't "just" about orgasm, that low desire is usually a relationship problem rather than a body problem, and that sex doesn't only follow love—it builds it. Whether you're the one who pulls away, the one who pushes, or a couple who's stopped having sex altogether, this episode gives you the map for seeing the cycle—and getting out of it together. ⸻ Spice things up and deepen your connection with my Wonderlust Intimacy Card Deck: 10% off with code LUST at https://wonderlust.co ⸻ Lust in Translation Podcast Subscribe to our newsletter for exclusive insights: ⁠lustintranslation.com ⁠ Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lustintranslationpod/ ⁠ Follow Natassia on on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/%E2%81%A0https://www.instagram.com/natassiamiller/⁠ Buy *Brave Love, Great Sex* by George Faller and Dr. Laurie Watson: https://amzn.to/4y05iP1  Work with George: https://georgefaller.com Follow George on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fallergeorge/