Sue Johnson

Now today, we're doing something different, and that is a couple years back when we lost our dear founder, Dr.

Sue Johnson, who brought us EFT, or Emotion-Focused Therapy.

Uh, Jim had a very special re- relationship with Sue, and over more than 20 years of doing this kind of therapy, Jim had many chances to interact with Sue and get very close to her.

And so it was Jim's idea to create some episodes that we're calling this, What Sue Would Want Us to Know.

And this first one is this, what Sue would want us to know about empathic reflection.

Empathic reflection, why that's so important.

Here comes Jim Thomas.

I, I just...

Um, there's a good book that talks about that, Dr.

Sue Johnson.

Um, oh, we'll have to see if I can remember.

I'll have to have you put it in-

Okay.

Hold Me Tight by Dr.

Sue Johnson.

Um, and that's one of the approaches I use is EFT, emotionally focused therapy, which is-

This is the first couples therapy EFT externship in Gl- in Scotland.

It is the first, yeah, the first of, of Sue Johnson's model.

I'm not sure if they've done the other EFT model as a couples course up there or not, but it will be, um, our first one and Beth's first one.

Um, and Sarah and I are really looking forward to running it, and we have a lovely bunch of helpers with us, which is includes you.

Right

... therapeutic model.

This is Sue Johnson's Emotionally Focused Therapy.

So do some reading to start with, or as I say, listening or watching videos, whatever, to get an essence of what it's about.

Yeah.

And that could be cuddling or hand hold- holding or, you know, um, in the EFT world, Sue Johnson's favorite example of, like, couch cocoa, where you make hot cocoa, and you decide if you're gonna sit next to each other on the couch or across from each other and have a conversation.

Like, what level of intimacy is comfortable-

Mm

S- uh, Dr.

Sue Johnson, she's a re- she has since passed away, but she was a researcher on adult attachment, so how adults attach, a primarily marriage adult attachment, how a, how couples attach to each other.

And she said, you know, she says, "When, when the women..." The quote is something like this: "When the women in my counseling office, when they say, 'Oh, my husband, all he wants is sex,'" what she says to h- the women to help normalize what's going on for the men is, "Well, I would too if the only place I could get touch beyond the football field was sex." In other words, as a man, where do you get physical affection? Where do you get hugs, right? S- for some men, sex is where they get touched, where they get, you know, embrace and affection.

She even said, and this is so tragic to me, that boys from birth, baby boys are held less than girls.

That's where the pain seems to be, at least in the people that I work with, so present every day.

It's like, are we going to connect? Are you going to be there for me using Sue Johnson's language? Are you going to be there now? Are you going to be there this time? And if you go away again, I don't know if my heart can handle it.

Right.

And so, of course, there's hesitancy because it's a tremendous risk to be able to say, I'm going to open my heart up again and please don't break it again.

Producer Jay Allison, curator of the Sonic Memorial phone line, and NPR's Jackie Lyden also contributed to the narration.

The Sonic Memorial Project team includes Jamie York, Laura Folger, Joe Richman, Eleanor Astrinsky, Alana Berkowitz, Grace Keye Hyphitz, Sue Johnson, Vanessa Bertozzi, Brita Frahm, Allison Cornyn.

Further contributors include Dave Isay, Stacy Abramson, Andy Lanset, Jad Abumrad, Marianne McCune, Beth Fertig, Tara Anderson, Cathy Brew, John Schaefer, Art Silverman, Mary Beth Bowen, Minoli Weatherell, Crystal Smith, Steve Dima, and the countless individuals and institutions who contributed to this memorial.

Special mention goes to Anne Pasternak and Creative Time, author Angus Kress Gillespie, Joanne Wallace and KQED, Robert Krulwich and Deborah Amos, American Zoetrope, Rick Madden, and the community of public radio stations who helped bring these sounds and stories to air.