The Year Of Plot Twists

But like, obviously, if you listen to this podcast, you know that I've been struggling this past year with um you know becoming a parent mine and leah's relationship has been not the best and we kind of hit like a tipping point of like or get off the pot kind of situation and i we decided we're gonna go to couples therapy and i wanna say that because i think there's gonna be fun and interesting things that i learned from couples therapy that i'd love to share here so

Okay, so I was saying that I was talking to Leah about just motherhood and things like that.

She had two back-to-back babies and she mentioned that her and her husband go to couples therapy or marriage counseling, whatever it was.

And my experience on the very little amount of therapy that we got, let me not say a little amount.

It was a lot in a short time for marriage bootcamp, those types of exercises that they had us do for TV would totally have like be so beneficial in real life.

If you actually apply them to your relationship, there was one that really stuck out to me, which was And I'm not saying do this with your partner what I'm just saying is like I do think it can work when you look at it through a new lens of, you know, therapy and practices like that but where there's a scene of hobby and I throwing this medicine ball around back and forth with a specific blame, right? Like a specific thing in our relationship that we're blaming the other person for, right? And by the end of it, you might just be taking balls that you don't believe should be yours, right? These medicine balls, these really heavy balls.

And we have no idea why this is beneficial until later on in the night, we end up having to put all of these medicine balls that are like five, 10, 15 pound balls in this big fucking Santa sack, right? And the challenge at the end of the night is for both of us to be dragging these fucking Santa sacks of medicine balls up a hill together.

Right.

And ultimately what that is teaching you is that it doesn't matter who you blame for what in your relationship.

At the end of the day, you both carry it in one way or in some way or another.

You both carry this burden because.

It's the person that did it, whether they have the guilt or the feelings about it or whatever it is.

And then the other person who is dealing with the insecurities about it or is constantly bringing it up to the other person.

And so ultimately it is it doesn't matter if the other person did it right.

You're still carrying it with them.

And so that is what it was teaching us.

And I thought that that was really cool.

Um, and when you look at certain things from that perspective, it's like, okay, now you have to decide, is this something that you want to carry with your partner? Or is this something you don't want anything to do with? And now I, you know, that is your decision maker, maybe in theory on whether or not you actually want to work it out.

And so I do think that a lot of those exercises can be applied to real life.

And I think that therapy can be really great.

I also think we should, um, normalize going to therapy before there are problems.

Because like you said, with your own personal, like individual therapy, this, what you're going through right now could be so much harder if you weren't already in there.

A hundred percent.

So I think the same can be said about couples or marriage counseling too, is you learn about your partner in therapy before there's a problem.

So when problems do arise, you know how to handle it.