Sep 29, 2026 · 1 hr 5 min · 16 segments
Hundreds of Ku Klux Klan members have handed their robes to Daryl Davis, a Black jazz musician who won them over by listening instead of arguing. His opening question: How can you hate me if you don't…
Joshua BandochGuestHowie ChanHostI feel when people think about persuasion, they almost always have this misunderstanding in that it's about forcing someone to get a yes.
Do you feel the same way, Josh? What do you think are misconceptions about persuasion today?

There are two really big misconceptions that are pointing in that same direction that you are.

I think one of the biggest misconceptions people have about persuasion is it's about winning.

And part of the goal there is I win, you lose, and you say yes to what I want.

Has anybody ever persuaded you that way ever? And the second big one is that we think that persuasion is about convincing someone to think just like us.

The Latin root of the word convince actually means to vanquish or to conquer.

Beating people over the head with your point of view, trying to force them to say yes.
Josh, do you feel like it's something we're just wired to do? Like we have to win over you? Why do we reach for that most of the time? Whether we're a consultant or a business owner or even a working professional, we tend to just want to win.

And the flip side of that for people feels like, well, then I have to be right and I have to win.
I feel when people think about persuasion, they almost always have this misunderstanding in that it's about forcing someone to get a yes.
Do you feel the same way, Josh? What do you think are misconceptions about persuasion today?

There are two really big misconceptions that are pointing in that same direction that you are.

I think one of the biggest misconceptions people have about persuasion is it's about winning.

And part of the goal there is I win, you lose, and you say yes to what I want.

Has anybody ever persuaded you that way ever? And the second big one is that we think that persuasion is about convincing someone to think just like us.

The Latin root of the word convince actually means to vanquish or to conquer.

Beating people over the head with your point of view, trying to force them to say yes.
Josh, do you feel like it's something we're just wired to do? Like we have to win over you? Why do we reach for that most of the time? Whether we're a consultant or a business owner or even a working professional, we tend to just want to win.

And the flip side of that for people feels like, well, then I have to be right and I have to win.
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