God Conversations in Chaplaincy – The Holy Art of Shutting Up

One of the things that comes out of your work, Matt, that I've noticed is that you call this a ministry of presence and you come alongside people and they share their stories with you.

You've also been talking about the importance of listening.

If some of our listeners are hearing this and they're thinking, oh, maybe God is at work in the lives of everyone around me.

How do I open up that door? What does it mean to be a minister of presence?

That's a great question.

I love that question.

It gets right to the heart of it.

I was sort of introduced to that word in a special way by Rabbi Rami Shapiro, where he was talking to a group of chaplains.

And he said, I'm not a chaplain, but as I reflect on chaplaincy, I think it comes down to presence.

And so I've been thinking about that one ever since so much.

And presence, for me, it means...

Having a bit of discipline to slow down my own urge to impart my own wisdom or teaching or even my own encouragement.

I'm hearing you, Matt.

That was what I noticed when I read your book, Keep Your Mouth Shut, Listen, Avatar.

It is hard.

Because these kinds of impulses come from a good place.

We want to help the person.

We want to see the person, the other whole and healthy and all of this.

But if I act on the urge to impart, say, my parallel story, you know, like, oh,

that reminds me of this.

I want to share this

with you.

And

this is what I learned.

I don't know what's going on in another person's heart, but I know for me, when that happens for me, I kind of feel like, I think I had a little bit more wisdom inside of me that I could be exploring right now rather than processing your wisdom.