Episode 36 - Conversations with Trish Haight - Healing the Injured Relationship

What's really important here as we raise consciousness for the partner impacted and also the person who caused harm, as we raise that consciousness, what's really important is to help them catch their breath together and really name that they are now an injured relationship.

And how to hold them in that is going to be really important.

We have to connect back to the stages of healing.

Again, naming it stage one, stabilizing the reality of that stage two for the injured relationship and metabolizing that, the enormity together.

You know, they're doing their separate processing.

But the relationship, the injury here is where the new air starts to shape.

You know, we slow everything down.

And each injured relationship I work with, they're all different.

Every single one has a different need at this point when they contact me or they do an intensive with me.

Everyone is different.

And they're met wherever that is.

That's their landing point.

And they start to breathe again.

And it's not easy.

They go back to that every now and then, you know? And it's really important for the two of us because we hold it this way is anytime that's there, we name it, we stabilize it, we metabolize.

We keep going through one, two, and three in a healthy way, right? On the stages of healing from deceptive sexuality trauma treatment lens, we move through those so that a clearing and sorting can happen.

I mentioned that earlier.

It's really important to create new ground.

We don't want... to create that ground in the injured relationship that there's still an injury constantly happening.

which is as we know room 20 persistent negative relational patterns when there isn't that taking a breath it's like everything's getting faster everything's speeding up and when you name the stabilization and then metabolizing when there's these persistent negative relational patterns ruptures there's destabilization happening for both people and for the relationship And so rather than metabolizing, it's the opposite.

We're taking the distressing material and actually adding more distress to it.

We're adding more negative emotion to it.

And so it's the exact opposite of stabilizing and metabolizing.

And we talk about the idea of the relationship itself.

almost becoming a source of complex trauma shaping for people at this point, walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop, all these ideas that we could use.

What's really important here as we raise consciousness for the partner impacted and also the person who caused harm, as we raise that consciousness, what's really important is to help them catch their breath together and really name that they are now an injured relationship.

And how to hold them in that is going to be really important.

We have to connect back to the stages of healing.

Again, naming it stage one, stabilizing the reality of that stage two for the injured relationship and metabolizing that, the enormity together.

You know, they're doing their separate processing.

But the relationship, the injury here is where the new air starts to shape.

You know, we slow everything down.

And each injured relationship I work with, they're all different.

Every single one has a different need at this point when they contact me or they do an intensive with me.

Everyone is different.

And they're met wherever that is.

That's their landing point.

And they start to breathe again.

And it's not easy.

They go back to that every now and then, you know? And it's really important for the two of us because we hold it this way is anytime that's there, we name it, we stabilize it, we metabolize.

We keep going through one, two, and three in a healthy way, right? On the stages of healing from deceptive sexuality trauma treatment lens, we move through those so that a clearing and sorting can happen.

I mentioned that earlier.

It's really important to create new ground.

We don't want... to create that ground in the injured relationship that there's still an injury constantly happening.

which is as we know room 20 persistent negative relational patterns when there isn't that taking a breath it's like everything's getting faster everything's speeding up and when you name the stabilization and then metabolizing when there's these persistent negative relational patterns ruptures there's destabilization happening for both people and for the relationship And so rather than metabolizing, it's the opposite.

We're taking the distressing material and actually adding more distress to it.

We're adding more negative emotion to it.

And so it's the exact opposite of stabilizing and metabolizing.

And we talk about the idea of the relationship itself.

almost becoming a source of complex trauma shaping for people at this point, walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop, all these ideas that we could use.