Pickup Artist Paradox
Listen to this unsettling dating culture reveal
Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee
Jun 30, 2026 · 2 hr 15 min · 14 segments
We’re living in a world that has become extraordinarily skilled at measuring success. But most of us never stop to question which standards really matter to us. Are you chasing success by someone…
Your new book, The Score, is probably one of my favorite books that I've read for years.
One of the central cases you make in the book is that many of us experience problems in our lives because we're living by someone else's scorecard-
You call this value capture in the book, so I'm wondering if we could start there.
So value capture is any case [clears throat] where your values are rich or subtle or they're developing in that direction, and then you get put in a social setting or an institutional setting or with a technology that presents you with a simplified, usually quantified version of your value, and then the simplified version takes over.
So, like, I mean, I went on Twitter to connect to people and to find interesting information and to, like, have these fascinating conversations with people, and that started happening, and then I went viral, like low-grade viral twice, and then I became just interested in upping my like counts and follower counts.
I mean, I think a lot of people know that it's not good when y- your incentives are too simplified, where, like, the world is giving you money or rewards to follow some kind of hyper-simplified metric.
But I think the thing I'm really interested in is the next stage of when that transfers to your soul, like when the thing that you care about most becomes, uh, when your deepest value becomes expressed in terms of the metric because then I think you inherit, uh, the limitations of institutional data tracking, right? Every limit we have about the kinds of numbers that are easy to collect in large-scale bureaucracies suddenly starts to inhabit your way of thinking about the world, about navigating your own life.
There's this thing you talk about throughout the book, this idea that data is not neutral.
The metrics themselves are not neutral, and where I've been thinking about this a lot is particularly because as we record this conversation, the Winter Olympics are going on.
The standard was off the charts, but what was really, really interesting is they're doing all these kinds of tricks, and I'm thinking, "Well, how can you compare-
Your new book, The Score, is probably one of my favorite books that I've read for years.
One of the central cases you make in the book is that many of us experience problems in our lives because we're living by someone else's scorecard-
You call this value capture in the book, so I'm wondering if we could start there.
So value capture is any case [clears throat] where your values are rich or subtle or they're developing in that direction, and then you get put in a social setting or an institutional setting or with a technology that presents you with a simplified, usually quantified version of your value, and then the simplified version takes over.
So, like, I mean, I went on Twitter to connect to people and to find interesting information and to, like, have these fascinating conversations with people, and that started happening, and then I went viral, like low-grade viral twice, and then I became just interested in upping my like counts and follower counts.
I mean, I think a lot of people know that it's not good when y- your incentives are too simplified, where, like, the world is giving you money or rewards to follow some kind of hyper-simplified metric.
But I think the thing I'm really interested in is the next stage of when that transfers to your soul, like when the thing that you care about most becomes, uh, when your deepest value becomes expressed in terms of the metric because then I think you inherit, uh, the limitations of institutional data tracking, right? Every limit we have about the kinds of numbers that are easy to collect in large-scale bureaucracies suddenly starts to inhabit your way of thinking about the world, about navigating your own life.
There's this thing you talk about throughout the book, this idea that data is not neutral.
The metrics themselves are not neutral, and where I've been thinking about this a lot is particularly because as we record this conversation, the Winter Olympics are going on.
The standard was off the charts, but what was really, really interesting is they're doing all these kinds of tricks, and I'm thinking, "Well, how can you compare-
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