Aug 9, 2026 · 44 min · 18 segments
This week, Alex breaks down attachment styles and dives deep into anxious attachment. She discusses how childhood experiences can shape the way we approach intimacy, why inconsistent partners can feel…
Alex CooperHost
At its core, an attachment style is your subconscious blueprint for how you behave, how you communicate, and how you react in close relationships.
It's basically like how your brain reacts to intimacy and threat, and it's developed when you are a baby, right? I kinda just said that.
But the annoying part is it then shows up when you're like 24, 25, 26, 30, 32, 33.
Why is this impacting me?" You're like crying over an unanswered FaceTime, and you're like, "Why am I so emotional about this?" It goes all the way back to childhood, honey.
And so everyone is believed to fit one, or some people more, attachment styles, but if you are watching today, you have an attachment style.
So we have secure attachment, we have anxious attachment, we have avoidant attachment, and then fearful/disorganized attachment.
Today, I kinda wanna just focus on anxious attachment, and then I will do episodes the next few weeks dedicated to each of the other attachment styles.
Because I was gonna try to cram it into one, and then I was like, "I feel like literally each one needs ample time to be discussed and dissected," because there is so much to each of these.
Okay? So let's first start off with like, you may be like, "Am I an anxious attached person? I don't know, Alex." So I'm gonna kinda just walk you through.
If you have ever been called crazy, needy, too much, or, you know, dramatic by someone who couldn't even manage to text you back, this episode [laughs] is gonna hopefully be your holy grail.
And I'm gonna try to explain exactly what is happening in your brain, why you keep choosing people who make you feel like you're, uh, essentially starving, and more importantly, at the end, we're [laughs] gonna try to talk about how do we change this? How do we stop this? So we're gonna start with a little self-diagnosis.
Everyone's like, "This does not feel light." I know, but I promise it's gonna be helpful.
I am gonna paint a picture, and you basically just decide if this sounds familiar, right? So you're dating someone.
You had a great date on Tuesday, but now it's, let's say, Thursday afternoon, and you send a text.
At its core, an attachment style is your subconscious blueprint for how you behave, how you communicate, and how you react in close relationships.
It's basically like how your brain reacts to intimacy and threat, and it's developed when you are a baby, right? I kinda just said that.
But the annoying part is it then shows up when you're like 24, 25, 26, 30, 32, 33.
Why is this impacting me?" You're like crying over an unanswered FaceTime, and you're like, "Why am I so emotional about this?" It goes all the way back to childhood, honey.
And so everyone is believed to fit one, or some people more, attachment styles, but if you are watching today, you have an attachment style.
So we have secure attachment, we have anxious attachment, we have avoidant attachment, and then fearful/disorganized attachment.
Today, I kinda wanna just focus on anxious attachment, and then I will do episodes the next few weeks dedicated to each of the other attachment styles.
Because I was gonna try to cram it into one, and then I was like, "I feel like literally each one needs ample time to be discussed and dissected," because there is so much to each of these.
Okay? So let's first start off with like, you may be like, "Am I an anxious attached person? I don't know, Alex." So I'm gonna kinda just walk you through.
If you have ever been called crazy, needy, too much, or, you know, dramatic by someone who couldn't even manage to text you back, this episode [laughs] is gonna hopefully be your holy grail.
And I'm gonna try to explain exactly what is happening in your brain, why you keep choosing people who make you feel like you're, uh, essentially starving, and more importantly, at the end, we're [laughs] gonna try to talk about how do we change this? How do we stop this? So we're gonna start with a little self-diagnosis.
Everyone's like, "This does not feel light." I know, but I promise it's gonna be helpful.
I am gonna paint a picture, and you basically just decide if this sounds familiar, right? So you're dating someone.
You had a great date on Tuesday, but now it's, let's say, Thursday afternoon, and you send a text.
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3 of 13
The Anxious-Avoidant Trap
Anxious-avoidant partners reinforce each other's deepest wounds.
That Feeling Is Not Love
Many people mistake relationship anxiety for chemistry.
Take Back Your Emotional Power
Responsibility can return control to your life.
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