Brave Together Podcast - Jessica Patay, Susanna Peace Lovell and Dr. Zoe Shaw - Episode 14

So I, you know, I want to go back and talk about, you know, this motherhood guilt that we feel, um, which is by the way, so easy for us to feel it's like the most easily accessible, um, I don't know, character trait or whatever you want to call it for moms in general.

And now, when we have this situation where we are feeling like judged or shamed for the way that our child or children, and I would even offer now that I have an adult child, right? Her having a three-year-old tantrum is very much looked upon in a much different way than now when she's 19 and a half and we'll have these explosions in public.

which feel very uncontrollable.

And then, so how do we, Help, help Jennifer.

How do we, you know, how do we, how do we talk to ourselves in these moments? How can we be more compassionate, not only with ourselves, but with other moms where we see, because we've all been out and about and seen someone having a tantrum, right? We've all seen it.

And so how can we sort of breathe through it and realize and recognize like, this is not indicative of my worthiness.

As a parent, right?

That is, what is that, like that $64,000 question or that, you know, it's a tough question to answer on how to stop beating ourselves up.

And

I think without special needs, women do that.

So we're already starting off at a disadvantage because we come to the table already being some of the most judgmental, self-critical

people

people around.

Right.

And then, and then you add this layer to it.

And I, I think, well, first of all, one of the most important thing, but it's not that easy to do is treat yourself the way you would treat somebody else.

Yes.

Because you would never beat up your friend for not doing enough, but we're so quick to do it to ourselves and helping women, um, caregivers, anybody learn that you deserve to be treated the same way you treat your good friends.

And I don't know why that's that we don't do that, but we don't seem to do that.

And we need constant reminding that we deserve what we give to others.