Jun 29, 2026 · 41 min · 12 segments
High achievers know the gap well: the space between where you are and where you want to be. It can drive growth, but it can also become a source of fear, avoidance, and self-judgment. In this…
Jay PapasanHost
Hannah SotoGuest
So what was the nature of this gap? Was it, like, a leadership gap? Was it a skills gap? Was it a knowledge gap?
The gap that I came to Johan in the beginning was one in my, in my business, and so it was, I had had a lot of external success, but I was feeling a lot of friction personally.
Now I say, you know, wildly successful and yet wildly unhappy, and the, the gap between external, um, performance and internal peace.
That's really, uh, something I think a lot of people, until they've experienced it, don't know what it's like for people to say, "Oh my gosh, you're so successful," while the things that you're failing at aren't visible.
And so, like, that's where the imposter syndrome shows up and self-doubt, a bit like they don't see all of my mistakes, while in reality, everybody who's kicking butt out there has got a million gaps going on.
So we can't control our circumstances always, but we can control how we experience them.
And so there was this really pivotal moment, and I'm gonna be vague because it has, um, some personal details, but-
there was a moment personally where I was experiencing my family in this particular way, and the analogy I was using is it's like I'm in a pool drowning, and they're all just standing around.
And why won't someone throw me a raft, or why won't someone, you know, jump in and help because I'm drowning? And then all of a sudden I said, "What if I just stand up? What if there's only three feet of water?" And it radically changed my relationship to the situation.
but, like, everybody's seen that meme of the little kid who's, like, screaming and crying-
So what was the nature of this gap? Was it, like, a leadership gap? Was it a skills gap? Was it a knowledge gap?
The gap that I came to Johan in the beginning was one in my, in my business, and so it was, I had had a lot of external success, but I was feeling a lot of friction personally.
Now I say, you know, wildly successful and yet wildly unhappy, and the, the gap between external, um, performance and internal peace.
That's really, uh, something I think a lot of people, until they've experienced it, don't know what it's like for people to say, "Oh my gosh, you're so successful," while the things that you're failing at aren't visible.
And so, like, that's where the imposter syndrome shows up and self-doubt, a bit like they don't see all of my mistakes, while in reality, everybody who's kicking butt out there has got a million gaps going on.
So we can't control our circumstances always, but we can control how we experience them.
And so there was this really pivotal moment, and I'm gonna be vague because it has, um, some personal details, but-
there was a moment personally where I was experiencing my family in this particular way, and the analogy I was using is it's like I'm in a pool drowning, and they're all just standing around.
And why won't someone throw me a raft, or why won't someone, you know, jump in and help because I'm drowning? And then all of a sudden I said, "What if I just stand up? What if there's only three feet of water?" And it radically changed my relationship to the situation.
but, like, everybody's seen that meme of the little kid who's, like, screaming and crying-
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