Aug 5, 2026 · 44 min · 19 segments
After a panic attack nearly made him lose control on the highway, Mark Anthony Neal continued to bottle up his anxiety and pretend everything was fine. Years later, when he secretly started therapy…
Mark Anthony NealGuestHillary FrankHostIn the summer of 2008, Mark Anthony Neal was driving on the highway with his wife and two daughters, ages nine and five.
His father had died a few months ago, and his mom was transitioning to a nursing home.
We were going up to New York in part to check on my mother, so we're driving.
I'm in the far left lane, the fast lane, and, and at this point where 95 is, it's, it's four lanes across.
And they reported two things, um, one that R. Kelly had been acquitted of rape charges, and Tim Russert, the, uh, news announcer, had just passed.
So both of those things triggered something in me, and, and it was like for this moment I, I just had to get out of the car.
So I, I held onto my composure, was able to pull over to the far side and say, "I can't do this." You know? We, we got off the highway, drove to a hotel, stayed there overnight, and then we drove back the next morning.
I, I didn't really have the language, and it was when I, I had a conversation a few days later with my best friend, Frank Paul.
You know, we have been friends since we were five years old, since first grade.
Um, and you know, what he said to me, he said, "You had a panic attack." And that was something that was inconceivable to me at the time, right? Be- because I lived most of my life, and it really staked, uh, even my professional reputation around this idea that I was always in control.
In the summer of 2008, Mark Anthony Neal was driving on the highway with his wife and two daughters, ages nine and five.
His father had died a few months ago, and his mom was transitioning to a nursing home.
We were going up to New York in part to check on my mother, so we're driving.
I'm in the far left lane, the fast lane, and, and at this point where 95 is, it's, it's four lanes across.
And they reported two things, um, one that R. Kelly had been acquitted of rape charges, and Tim Russert, the, uh, news announcer, had just passed.
So both of those things triggered something in me, and, and it was like for this moment I, I just had to get out of the car.
So I, I held onto my composure, was able to pull over to the far side and say, "I can't do this." You know? We, we got off the highway, drove to a hotel, stayed there overnight, and then we drove back the next morning.
I, I didn't really have the language, and it was when I, I had a conversation a few days later with my best friend, Frank Paul.
You know, we have been friends since we were five years old, since first grade.
Um, and you know, what he said to me, he said, "You had a panic attack." And that was something that was inconceivable to me at the time, right? Be- because I lived most of my life, and it really staked, uh, even my professional reputation around this idea that I was always in control.
The rest of this transcript — segmented and speaker-labeled, so you land on the exact moment something was said
Search every transcript — by keyword, by phrase, or by meaning, across every show Radar indexes
Trends — what is surging across podcasts, measured against its own baseline
Alerts — when a name you follow appears in a newly indexed episode
No account is needed to search Radar.
