Jun 17, 2026 · 47 min · 17 segments
Consent education in school is mostly insufficient or non-existent — even when it’s required by state law. An organization called SafeBAE is trying to change that by training teens to teach each other…
Shael NorrisGuestAyla MansmannGuest
One of the things that I like to emphasize when we talk about, like, kids and harm of any kind is it's not that we expect everyone in their lifetime to never cause harm.
The ultimate test of your character is not that you don't cause harm, it's how you respond to finding out you caused harm.
Safe Bae is a national organization working to prevent sexual violence among teens.
We're the only organization of our kind, uh, because it is survivor founded and youth led.
Youth led, meaning actual middle school and high school students are out in their communities trying to prevent sexual violence among their peers.
Today, we'll talk to Shael about how Safe Bae trains teens and the tools they use with perpetrators, and how we can use some of these strategies as parents.
We'll also hear a cautionary tale about a time when Shael's own daughter attempted to get justice for sexual assault survivors back when she was in high school.
I think the way a lot of us have learned about consent, if we have at all, is pretty simple.
If someone is trying to get you to do something sexually that you don't wanna do, you assert yourself.
Like, how do you, as a partner, anticipate a no instead of assuming a yes? And so ultimately, assuming that your partner is a no until there's discussion, communication, and that one yes to one thing does not mean yes to all things, and that you should assume that there's always stopping places for communication built into any intimacy that you have with a person.
Um, and I think everything about the way we do this work is really irreverent to the way it's been done before.
But historically, when you're talking about any young people prevention work, if it exists at all, it is designed by adults, it is delivered by adults.
And also, by the way, it's like, as they would say, cringey because y- you don't wanna be out here teaching, like, your mom's consented.
One of the things that I like to emphasize when we talk about, like, kids and harm of any kind is it's not that we expect everyone in their lifetime to never cause harm.
The ultimate test of your character is not that you don't cause harm, it's how you respond to finding out you caused harm.
Safe Bae is a national organization working to prevent sexual violence among teens.
We're the only organization of our kind, uh, because it is survivor founded and youth led.
Youth led, meaning actual middle school and high school students are out in their communities trying to prevent sexual violence among their peers.
Today, we'll talk to Shael about how Safe Bae trains teens and the tools they use with perpetrators, and how we can use some of these strategies as parents.
We'll also hear a cautionary tale about a time when Shael's own daughter attempted to get justice for sexual assault survivors back when she was in high school.
I think the way a lot of us have learned about consent, if we have at all, is pretty simple.
If someone is trying to get you to do something sexually that you don't wanna do, you assert yourself.
Like, how do you, as a partner, anticipate a no instead of assuming a yes? And so ultimately, assuming that your partner is a no until there's discussion, communication, and that one yes to one thing does not mean yes to all things, and that you should assume that there's always stopping places for communication built into any intimacy that you have with a person.
Um, and I think everything about the way we do this work is really irreverent to the way it's been done before.
But historically, when you're talking about any young people prevention work, if it exists at all, it is designed by adults, it is delivered by adults.
And also, by the way, it's like, as they would say, cringey because y- you don't wanna be out here teaching, like, your mom's consented.
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