How to Attract Your Ideal Match & Filter Out The Rest When Dating with Ruby Josif

Beauty, may as well talk a little bit about how the campaign's been going for me because so much of the stuff that's been happening, I can't really just whack it on social media.

Yeah.

it's, yeah, I've been looking forward to like a long form way to actually like discuss some of the things that are happening and that I'm coming up against.

We don't have to cover it all, but yeah, it has just been a super fascinating journey so far.

And I've noticed that speaking of authenticity, you know, it's really acting as Yeah, a filter, a very, very fine meshed filter that's filtering out a lot of people, I would say, even maybe too much of a filter because I feel like it's acting as a deterrent for men in some ways.

But then again, I could argue that, you know, if they can't hack women, the fact that I'm doing this maybe they're not for me and a lot of my life I do talk about online and on the podcast so if that makes them uncomfortable then perhaps we wouldn't be compatible but it has felt a little bit jarring when I had this situation where I met a guy in person in the wild, as they're saying nowadays.

I, yeah, went out of my way to strike up a conversation with him.

We got chatting.

It was this really cute way of meeting.

And we hung out.

We had a gorgeous hang.

He asked me on a second date.

And in that time between the first and the second hang, I was like, oh, should I say something about, I just started the campaign like two days before this, right? And I was like, fuck, I should have mentioned it.

I guess I'll just wait till I see him to explain it properly.

Or should I tell him in the meantime, send a voice in and just say like, hey, by the way, I'm doing this thing.

And anyway, he's obviously stalked my social media in the meantime, and he calls off the second date because of it.

And so, you know, I think the social media element of me documenting my dating life really freaked him out.

And that's like fair enough.

He probably, you know, didn't want to be made into content.

Um, and I, even though I was clear, I was like, yo, like I won't make you into content without your permission.

And basically if something were to start going somewhere, I'm sure as hell not going to talk about it online because I don't want to put that level of pressure and expectation on a fledgling connection before it's had a chance to actually just unfold organically.

Um, but it was really tough to come up against this like rub where the actual campaign was which is an attempt to find a fella and more connection and more opportunities to date, was actually hindering me and kind of closing a door that I'd opened and kind of putting off And I don't, yeah, I don't know how I feel about, I mean, it's just a really tricky thing, right? It's so meta that I'm trying to document my journey and the challenges that I'm facing within that.

But then a big part of a challenge that I'm facing is myself.

that it's actually putting off men that I'm doing it in the first place.

So that was really like disheartening and I felt a bit deflated and had a really big vulnerability hangover because I was like, oh, that was my first sort of experience of like really explicitly seeing a cause and effect of like, okay, I actually was on a roll with this person that Then they saw what I'm doing with the campaign and they've gone, no, thank you, and stepped right back and to the point where he didn't even want to be friends.