#12: What Nobody Tells You About Life After Getting Sober With Mary Alice Stephens · Sunsets Are The New Happy Hour · Radar

The Twelve Steps and Emotional Sobriety7:31 – 15:05

Mary Alice StephensGuest

7:31

[laughs]

Kristin HorstmanHost

7:32

Yeah.

Kristin HorstmanHost

7:32

No, that, that was all so great.

Kristin HorstmanHost

7:34

Uh, you brought up so many great points.

Kristin HorstmanHost

7:36

And actually, speaking of AA, I, I really love how you took us through the journey of that, of, of the steps.

Kristin HorstmanHost

7:42

Um, it, it was especially helpful, um, you know, something you said actually in the book about AA when, you know, when you first got there and you were worried about l- having to, you know, be resigned to this life of misery, um, I'm paraphrasing.

Mary Alice StephensGuest

7:57

Right.

Kristin HorstmanHost

7:58

And you know, I, I get that because when I, when I first, um, was exploring how to get sober, for me, I kinda went to AA kicking and screaming.

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:08

I, I, I didn't walk in quite like you did.

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:11

I didn't call a friend and say, "I need to go to AA." Um, but-

Mary Alice StephensGuest

8:14

[laughs]

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:14

... l- that, that fear that you felt about, you know-

Mary Alice StephensGuest

8:17

Yeah

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:18

... essentially is life over, are, are we resigned to misery, are we not gonna laugh anymore, you know, what does fun look like, um, it, it's terrifying.

Mary Alice StephensGuest

8:26

Yeah, it's really the fear of facing yourself.

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:29

Yes.

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:29

Oh, that's such a good way to put it.

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:31

Yeah.

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:32

So for me, you know, I, I went to some AA meetings on and off.

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:35

It wasn't clicking, it wasn't resonating, and eventually, um, I stopped going, and then I f- I found a different route, um, think that did work for me eventually.

Mary Alice StephensGuest

8:43

Mm-hmm.

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:43

Thank goodness.

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:45

Um, but I really appreciate learning about the steps the way you walked us through it in the book.

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:51

Is there...

Kristin HorstmanHost

8:52

You know, what, what would you share about, about the steps and how they helped you, es- especially now that, you know, in these days, in 2026, modern recovery has such a focus on emotional sobriety and regulating the nervous system.