Stories From the Middle of Nowhere
Jul 7, 2026 · 27 min · 11 segments
From a 13‑year‑old’s makeup‑caked attempt to buy TJ Swann, to Donny aging himself with motor oil, to Judy dodging a police raid by pretending to bus tables, this episode dives into the chaotic…
And I'm going to start.
I've got one that, if you remember, I worked at Jerry's Standard, which is the gas station.
We've referenced that in earlier podcasts.
What happened there?
Poor Jerry.
Poor guy.
Judy, the gas station I got fired from.
I'm working at Jerry's Standard.
It's a Friday.
I want to go get some alcohol.
I thought that to make me look older, that would put me in a position where I could buy some alcohol.
Well, I'm at the gas station doing oil changes, doing pumping gas and cleaning windows and all that kind of stuff.
And I've got the real nice Jerry's standard shirt on.
Makes me look maybe not 17.
Maybe it makes me look 18 or 19.
Well, my thought was, hey, let me rub some oil, some grease on my face and just make it look like I've been under the car all day working hard.
Not just doing oil changes.
I'm doing something big, like maybe a transmission.
I don't know.
You can tell my car knowledge is zero.
Well, and again, the rule, don't let them near your car.
There's a rule about that.
So
I got all the oil on.
I got, you know, the grease on my face.
And I'm going to start.
I've got one that, if you remember, I worked at Jerry's Standard, which is the gas station.
We've referenced that in earlier podcasts.
What happened there?
Poor Jerry.
Poor guy.
Judy, the gas station I got fired from.
I'm working at Jerry's Standard.
It's a Friday.
I want to go get some alcohol.
I thought that to make me look older, that would put me in a position where I could buy some alcohol.
Well, I'm at the gas station doing oil changes, doing pumping gas and cleaning windows and all that kind of stuff.
And I've got the real nice Jerry's standard shirt on.
Makes me look maybe not 17.
Maybe it makes me look 18 or 19.
Well, my thought was, hey, let me rub some oil, some grease on my face and just make it look like I've been under the car all day working hard.
Not just doing oil changes.
I'm doing something big, like maybe a transmission.
I don't know.
You can tell my car knowledge is zero.
Well, and again, the rule, don't let them near your car.
There's a rule about that.
So
I got all the oil on.
I got, you know, the grease on my face.
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