Why Love Languages Aren't Enough — Missing Skill That Actually Saves Relationships | Laziena Hodge

Thank you for doing such a wonderful work in this space in today's time.

Because the society is changing and then it is very hard for a lot of people to adapt and understand.

and position themselves in a way that they can improve on their relationships.

And tell us a little bit about how this started.

I'm just curious about how it started, and then we will hear from you into the theory.

Okay, so how it started is a long story, but it's a little tragic.

A little trauma came with it, right? So it was about six years ago.

My the person I was married to called me to tell me that he had done something inappropriate with my oldest daughter who was underage.

And so that moment like brought me to my knees because I was, I started to like, wait, how did this happen? This couldn't happen in my family.

And this is, I started seeing that this was generational trauma.

I'm like, I grew up in an environment that had a lot of sexual abuse happens, a lot of molestation and things like that were being hidden.

And so when I saw that it was happening in my own family, I was shocked because I thought I did every single thing I could to prevent any of this.

And so I started to look at my life and I'm like, my mom was the same age when my father passed away and she had to raise three children.

Now here I am needing to do the same thing.

What was my part in it? While what happened was incredibly hurtful and it separated us siblings and, you know, it disrupts the whole family.

It affects not only the mother, it affects the survivor, it affects the sibling, everyone in the household.

What is it that I can do now to change the outcome of this? And so it started to look deeper inside of me.

And when I did that, I realized there was a lot of limiting beliefs, a lot of moments in childhood that I didn't even know affected me as an adult.

It became a big rabbit hole.

And ultimately, my daughter was separated from me and I felt like our relationship was not ever going to be mended.

And I fought really, really hard for it.

I was like, I need to make sure that my children know that I'm with them and I'm for them.

And so I started to go to like different kinds of therapy, different kinds of coaching.

And I learned about emotional needs.

And that when I started following Dr. Bowlby, it's a psycho therapist back in like the 60s in the UK.