The Stories Men Carry: Alexander Kopelman on Childhood Trauma, Masculinity & Emotional Healing

In this deeply reflective episode of **Spiritual Infinity**, I speak with **Alexander Kopelman**, author and co-founder of the Children’s Arts Guild, about men’s trauma, emotional conditioning and the stories we learn about ourselves in childhood. Alexander shares his own journey from growing up in the Soviet Union, where emotional expression was highly restricted, to arriving in the United States as a 13-year-old refugee and later confronting how disconnected he had become from his own feelings. A turning point came through his involvement in a men’s group, where he discovered men of all ages still learning some of the most fundamental emotional skills: how to experience sadness, express love and confront shame. That experience led Alexander to a powerful question: **why wait until adulthood to repair what we could nurture in childhood?** It eventually inspired the creation of the **Children’s Arts Guild**, using creativity and conversation to help children understand their feelings and remain connected to who they truly are. Our conversation moves beyond men’s trauma into something even larger: **how we raise the next generation**. Alexander challenges us to examine the messages we give boys and girls about emotion, masculinity, vulnerability and identity. Rather than teaching children to suppress what they feel, what might change if we taught them to understand it? This is a conversation about **men’s emotional health, childhood conditioning, masculinity, shame, fatherhood, emotional intelligence, conscious parenting and authenticity**—and about breaking inherited patterns before another generation has to spend adulthood undoing them. **Closing Reflection** Perhaps one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves is not simply *“Who am I?”* but **“Who taught me that this is who I am?”** Alexander leaves us with a beautiful invitation: take a quiet moment and examine the story you tell yourself about yourself. Ask where that story came from—and whether it is still true. If it no longer serves the person you have become, perhaps you have permission to write a different one. And for our children, perhaps we can begin even earlier. Instead of immediately trying to stop their tears or take away their discomfort, we can first ask: *How does it hurt? How do you feel?* In doing so, we teach them that their inner world is worthy of being heard. **— Zenzi SewaahFounder & Spiritual Visionary, Spiritual Infinity** **Guest Bio & Contact Details** **Alexander Kopelman** is an author and co-founder of the **Children’s Arts Guild**, an organisation focused on helping adults create environments in which children can remain connected to their authentic selves. His work grew from his own decades-long exploration of masculinity, emotional development and the impact of childhood socialisation. Alexander is connected with the book ***For Real: Helping Children Remain Their Authentic Selves in a Limiting World*** and the **Authenticity Works** initiative, which brings together parents, caregivers, educators and healthcare professionals to rethink the environments we create for children. **Authenticity Works:** AuthenticityWorks.org**Book:** ForRealBook.org**LinkedIn:** Alexander Kopelman Get full access to Zenzi’s Substack at zenzisewaah.substack.com/subscribe