Topic: Relapse is Not a Requirement - ICYPAA 52 · Sober Cast: An (unofficial) Alcoholics Anonymous Podcast AA · Radar

Early Drinking and Realizing the Craving0:34 – 2:42

0:34

Um, [clears throat] I, um, would like to thank Katia for asking me to speak here.

0:41

Um, I-- my sobriety date is January 21st of two thousand and one.

0:46

Um, to kinda give you an idea about rela-my relapse and my story, um, I had my first drink at age fourteen, uh, my first meeting at age sixteen, uh, and then I got sober at twenty-three.

0:57

So out of the nine years that I drank, only two of them were without a knowledge of, of, of AA.

1:03

Um, although my first time, as you'll hear in a second, of trying to g-really get sober was eighteen.

1:09

But, um, between eighteen and twenty-three, uh, the most I ever had was ninety days.

1:14

Um, and, um, but, uh, I, um, originally, uh, got sober, and I'm from, uh, Houston, Texas.

1:21

I've been in New York for, uh, nine years now.

1:24

Uh, wow, as long as I drank.

1:25

That's a long time, so, [chuckles] uh, in New York now.

1:28

Uh, but, um, I, uh, had my first drink at fourteen.

1:32

Uh, the consequences started pretty early.

1:35

Um, uh, I didn't know anything about, you know, our, our book talks about the alcoholism being the, you know, the, the phenomena of crazing-- craving, which means once I start, uh, it's almost impossible for me to stop.

1:48

And the, the mental obsession, uh, makes it very difficult to not take that first drink.

1:53

Um, I didn't have the, really the mental obsession so much, but, uh, and I couldn't have told you what a physical allergy was in the beginning, but, uh, I definitely knew that once I started, it was almost impossible for, for me to stop, nor did I want to.

2:08

Um, you know, my friends would say stuff like, "I have a buzz.

2:11

I'm good." Uh, and that just didn't compute with me.

2:14

Uh, I couldn't relate to that.

2:15

And I just thought that no one liked alcohol as much as me.

2:18

That was, that was kind of how I could express the phenomenon of craving that early.

2:22

Uh, uh, the consequences, there really weren't...

2:24

The second time I got in trouble, uh, and blacked out the second time too.

2:28

I was a blackout drinker.

2:30

Uh, one of the things I learned in rehab was that that's not normal.

2:33

I just thought everyone blacked out when they drank.

Early Drinking and Realizing the Craving0:34 – 2:42

0:34

Um, [clears throat] I, um, would like to thank Katia for asking me to speak here.

0:41

Um, I-- my sobriety date is January 21st of two thousand and one.

0:46

Um, to kinda give you an idea about rela-my relapse and my story, um, I had my first drink at age fourteen, uh, my first meeting at age sixteen, uh, and then I got sober at twenty-three.

0:57

So out of the nine years that I drank, only two of them were without a knowledge of, of, of AA.

1:03

Um, although my first time, as you'll hear in a second, of trying to g-really get sober was eighteen.

1:09

But, um, between eighteen and twenty-three, uh, the most I ever had was ninety days.

1:14

Um, and, um, but, uh, I, um, originally, uh, got sober, and I'm from, uh, Houston, Texas.

1:21

I've been in New York for, uh, nine years now.

1:24

Uh, wow, as long as I drank.

1:25

That's a long time, so, [chuckles] uh, in New York now.

1:28

Uh, but, um, I, uh, had my first drink at fourteen.

1:32

Uh, the consequences started pretty early.

1:35

Um, uh, I didn't know anything about, you know, our, our book talks about the alcoholism being the, you know, the, the phenomena of crazing-- craving, which means once I start, uh, it's almost impossible for me to stop.

1:48

And the, the mental obsession, uh, makes it very difficult to not take that first drink.

1:53

Um, I didn't have the, really the mental obsession so much, but, uh, and I couldn't have told you what a physical allergy was in the beginning, but, uh, I definitely knew that once I started, it was almost impossible for, for me to stop, nor did I want to.

2:08

Um, you know, my friends would say stuff like, "I have a buzz.

2:11

I'm good." Uh, and that just didn't compute with me.

2:14

Uh, I couldn't relate to that.

2:15

And I just thought that no one liked alcohol as much as me.

2:18

That was, that was kind of how I could express the phenomenon of craving that early.

2:22

Uh, uh, the consequences, there really weren't...

2:24

The second time I got in trouble, uh, and blacked out the second time too.

2:28

I was a blackout drinker.

2:30

Uh, one of the things I learned in rehab was that that's not normal.

2:33

I just thought everyone blacked out when they drank.