Aug 13, 2026 · 20 min · 8 segments
Have a request for an upcoming segment? Send me a Text Message! This week's reviews are for the horror film ICE CREAM MAN, the romcom ONE NIGHT…
That ice cream's demonic.
They're all trying to kill us.
They're trying to turn us.
We
have to
run.
You can't just kill her.
The film centers on the suburban town of Bailing Bay, which is thrown into gruesome chaos following the arrival of a creepy silent ice cream vendor played by Ari Millen.
Driving a classic truck that plays eerie cartoon jingles, the man sells fun-looking frozen treats with creepy insect-themed names.
Unbeknownst to the town, the ice cream is laced with a brainwashing potion.
That night, every child who consumed the treats enters a catatonic trance and proceeds to go on a brutal slaughter of their parents, using household tools, appliances, and lawn equipment to carry out the carnage.
A small group of kids manage to avoid the mind-control spell due to various circumstances.
His rebellious friend Tommy, played by Shiloh O'Reilly, skipped the truck that day and classmate Mia, played by Kiori Mirza Waldman, is secretly bulimic and purged the treat before it could take full effect.
By the next morning, the town's elementary school turns into a full-scale battleground as the possessed children butcher their teachers and attempt to force-feed ice cream to the remaining uncorrupted survivors.
Jared, Tommy, and Mia flee the school and team up with Jared's older sister Lizzie, played by Sarah Abbott, who also managed to throw up the ice cream.
and her ex-boyfriend Chris, played by Dylan Hawko.
Together, they take shelter in the basement of the local church where a local priest reveals what is really going on and tells them how they can stop the madness.
When I saw the trailer for this, I predicted it would be a shove-it.
And I give this film a... shove-it.
shove-it.
This film made me grateful that I am lactose intolerant.
What could have been a sharp, campy satire on suburban innocence instead almost instantly turns into an oppressive onslaught of shrieking kids, endless buckets of red-colored corn syrup disguised as blood, and jokes that land with the thud of a dropped scoop of ice cream on a hot pavement.
That ice cream's demonic.
They're all trying to kill us.
They're trying to turn us.
We
have to
run.
You can't just kill her.
The film centers on the suburban town of Bailing Bay, which is thrown into gruesome chaos following the arrival of a creepy silent ice cream vendor played by Ari Millen.
Driving a classic truck that plays eerie cartoon jingles, the man sells fun-looking frozen treats with creepy insect-themed names.
Unbeknownst to the town, the ice cream is laced with a brainwashing potion.
That night, every child who consumed the treats enters a catatonic trance and proceeds to go on a brutal slaughter of their parents, using household tools, appliances, and lawn equipment to carry out the carnage.
A small group of kids manage to avoid the mind-control spell due to various circumstances.
His rebellious friend Tommy, played by Shiloh O'Reilly, skipped the truck that day and classmate Mia, played by Kiori Mirza Waldman, is secretly bulimic and purged the treat before it could take full effect.
By the next morning, the town's elementary school turns into a full-scale battleground as the possessed children butcher their teachers and attempt to force-feed ice cream to the remaining uncorrupted survivors.
Jared, Tommy, and Mia flee the school and team up with Jared's older sister Lizzie, played by Sarah Abbott, who also managed to throw up the ice cream.
and her ex-boyfriend Chris, played by Dylan Hawko.
Together, they take shelter in the basement of the local church where a local priest reveals what is really going on and tells them how they can stop the madness.
When I saw the trailer for this, I predicted it would be a shove-it.
And I give this film a... shove-it.
shove-it.
This film made me grateful that I am lactose intolerant.
What could have been a sharp, campy satire on suburban innocence instead almost instantly turns into an oppressive onslaught of shrieking kids, endless buckets of red-colored corn syrup disguised as blood, and jokes that land with the thud of a dropped scoop of ice cream on a hot pavement.
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