Your Word Was Your Bond. What Happened?: How to deal with Ghosting and Flakey People

So this week I had a couple of people, more than a couple of people, cancel on me last minute.

And I started to reflect about this kind of new technological trend of treating relationships as disposal.

Now, it used to be that in the last generation, if you gave your word, it meant something.

It was your bond.

It was as good as a contract.

And these days, the integrity of the word, in my opinion, has been hit, has been compromised.

And I see that especially in the way that people relate to each other in making plans.

And what I've found is that the number of people that are willing to flake, the number of people that are willing to ghost has gone up exponentially.

And the consequence can be can be quite intense.

I'll say, for example, a week ago, and this is just kind of sharing a little bit vulnerably.

A week ago, I was feeling on top of the world.

I had been hanging out with a couple from Spain that was amazing, a couple of friends that were consistent, that showed up.

I went to an event.

I met probably six or seven wonderful people at a social event here in Uluwatu, Bali.

And I made plans with all of them to kind of just connect and see who they were.

And over the course of this week, probably I made seven plans, I would guess, and all of them, literally all of them flaked.

And I've never had that concentration of people changing last minute.

Now, people have all kinds of reasons, work, sick animals, et cetera.

But what I'm talking about isn't necessarily about the excuse or the reason behind the flake, but more how do we show up consciously for each other? How do we manage, in the instance of something coming up, a relationship so that we can repair And that if there is something that comes up, it actually strengthens the relationship rather than weakens it or causes it, as in the case with me.

I mean, those are people I'm not going to pursue relationship with any further.

It ends our potential relationship.

So for me, the key to this is in if there is an interrupt that is necessary.

In other words, if you make plans with someone and then something comes up, instead of ghosting, instead of flaking, Show them that their time matters to you.

How do you do that? Reach out and say, you know what? I'm so sorry.

I was really looking forward to seeing you, but this came up and I would love to reschedule or I would love to make it up to you.